Intricate thoughts

Material girl

2012-02-07T20:00:00.001+08:00

So.... I'm beginning to dread work now and I hate how I'm feeling because I thought I finally found a job that I could stick to. Times like these when I ask myself, is it me? Or is it the company?

Then I deduced that maybe, I'm simply not cut out for the mundane 9-5 OL lifestyle. :\

Enough of my career rants. I am still young and it's never too late to figure out what I like right?

On a totally unrelated note, I can't help but realise that some girls are so materialistic. No offense to anyone in particular but it's something that I've noticed recently.

Girls gushing and going "I love my bf so much because he just just bought me a XXX bag plus a XXX bracelet plus treat me to dinner at some XXX atas restaurant." On repeat. Like almost every day of the week.

Seriously? That's why you love your boyfriend?

I can't help but feel so "ughhhh" whenever I read about something like that. It feels so.... wrong. Especially when you brag it to the world it just shows how materialistic you are. And what a sucker your boyfriend is.

Sure, I'd understand if it's for some special occasion but every other day? Might as well call him your sugar daddy?

I don't get girls like that. One of those times when I feel so guy about myself. Oh well.....

#Rantover.

Not enough

2012-02-03T02:54:00.002+08:00

One of those days where I am just so sick and tired of my life. To be precise, my career life. Had a bad day and suddenly I just feel that work is so fucked up. Feel like throwing the towel in and just stop giving a fuck. Feel like quitting and bum around.

At the same time it motivated me and intensified my determination to go all out and live the life I want. Not work like a dog under people (whom I admit sometimes are nice). Then the thought of my draining bank account made me all upset and emo and feel like there's no hope for me anymore.

:(

It's time to fight on and persevere in this crappy corporate world till I get what I need to do what I want. And on a side note, part of me feels like going for the SIA interview next Sat. It's really one of the few options I have to earn shitloads of money. And I understand the importance of that.

Oh hey, CNY has passed this year and it sucks bad cos it feels so blah to have to go back to work after 2 days. In short, I really, really really really feel that I am not cut out for the corporate world.

Somebody save me outta this. Or no, I'm gonna swim outta this.

LIKE A BOSS.

Don't speak

2012-01-07T02:12:00.001+08:00

Late at night and these thoughts are filling up my mind.

I have to remind myself time and again that it is never good to be over dependent on someone. It is never good to make someone your whole world, your life. Because if things don't work out in the end then your world comes crashing down and you're left with nothing.

Being overly dependent is not gonna be healthy for a relationship.

I have to remind myself to start living for me. Do things I wanna do, live life the way I want. Do that, and have someone I love standing behind me. That's the way it should be.

I shouldn't be worrying about what happens if ever, my world comes crashing down. I will not let it happen. I am strong enough for anything. It's time for me to find that independent girl in me. She got lost while indulging in this thing called love. This love, so wonderful yet dangerous.

Balance. It is important to strike a balance between myself and this wonderful relationship that I'm having now. Because I don't wanna regret it when it's too late. I don't wanna be the one damaging this with such dependence.

It's time for me to live for me.

Yellow diamonds in the light

2011-12-31T06:38:00.000+08:00

So.. yet again, it's the last day of the year. 2011 seems to have passed by in the blink of an eye. I could barely remember it all..

In 2011, I graduate from TP, found a job, hated the job, quit, and found a new job. Though my career hasn't been that great, but I managed to find something that I like at the moment. And I am thankful for that.

In 2011, I made more friends than I lost. I learnt lots from many people that I've met throughout the year.

In 2011, I PASSED MY TP AND GOT MY FUCKING LICENSE WOOHOO! And my awesome yet sometimes annoying sister has been kind enough to entrust me with her car.

In 2011, I lost my grandpa. It still hurts to realise that I no longer have any grandparents. But I believe that he is in a happier place, reunited with my loving grandma whom I miss very much too.

Last year, I predicted that "I really feel that 2011 will be a kickass awesome year. (:" And indeed, it is.

In 2011, I found someone who sees my flaws yet love me the way I am. Someone who reminds me constantly of how special I am. Someone who loves me, and whom I love very much. After all this time I still feel so crazily in love and I cannot emphasize on how different this love feels. It feels real, it feels true. And it feels like after all this time, I have finally found happiness. :)

Baby, we may have our share of ups and downs, but I swear, I've never been this happy in my life. I've never felt this complete, like you are the missing piece to my puzzle. And words cannot describe how blessed I feel to have found you after all this while. With you I am not afraid to dream of the future and work towards it. Thank you for being such an awesome boyfriend all this time baby, even if you don't think you are one. YOU ARE. :)

I love you bunny. And I'm looking forward to spending 2012 and many years ahead with you. :)

***
I definitely fulfilled my resolution of being happy this year. So... for 2012, I shall set a few more resolutions for myself.

1. Start saving and for God's sake clear my endless debts from the cycle of being broke and lending money from my mum then paying back and being broke again.
2. To not be afraid of going after my dreams and live the life I want.
3. Donate (and I said this before on Twitter) to ASD every month.

2012, bring it on!

Thoughts

2011-12-10T02:51:00.001+08:00

Feeling particularly gloomy at the moment, or maybe I'm just tired.

It dawned upon me how some girls can be so selfless (or stupid) when it comes to love. When guys, or just that one guy, hurt them over and over again, at the end of the day they would still choose to stick with him. Why?

That's a question that I can't answer either, because I was one of those girls. I guess it's just the naivety. How when you are with someone bad you always think that you'd be the special one who has the power to change him for the better. But nah, we all know. It never happens.

Sometimes you just have to wake up your idea and realize that you deserve so much more.

Came across something which triggered these thoughts and now it's time for bed. Tomorrow will be a better day.

Sometimes...

2011-12-10T00:45:00.001+08:00

So.. it seems to me like the blogger in me found the drive to update more often. Hence the change of layout and the frequent updates. Haha I look at my nuffnang stats and I feel so sad that it has become so pathetic. But then again, I'm still not comfortable with publicizing my blog. Hmmm shall ponder on that point a little more.

Look through my pictures and found the above camwhore pics of myself. I can't even remember when they were taken. Fake lashes and contact lens do make a huuuuuuge difference huh. Kudos to the girls who take the effort to put on both every single day. I just can't bring myself to as much as I want to. So tiring! I guess that's why 世界上没有丑女人，只有懒女人。However, I think 只有穷女人would be more apt. Haha

Soooo... had some alone time today after work. Headed to Ion for some retail therapy. Gosh the crowd was pissing me off so much. I really do not like crowds. But the satisfaction of pampering myself made it all worthwhile even though I bought mostly necessities? Like shampoo and eyeliner. HAHA And a pair of canvas shoes from Rubi, only $14.95! I LOVE CHEAP THRILLS!

Christmas is approaching.. this year seems to pass in a blink of an eye. Hell, every year seems to pass by so quickly. Am definitely looking forward to a new year, especially CNY! Can't wait to start shopping for new year clothes hehe.

And right now it's one of those moments when I feel like...... I'm at peace with me, myself and I.

Dream a little dream

2011-12-06T23:35:00.001+08:00

As much as I love my job, right now all I'm thinking about is how great life would be if I don't need to work.

Dream, dream some more! Maybe I've been too influenced by baby and his toto dreams.....

If I had the money, I would seriously break myself out of this corporate work cycle. I wanna start an online business, be it a blogshop or whatever other new ideas that I can think of. But I would love, LOVE to start an online business.

And, you know what? I never thought I'd say this but............ hell, if I have the money I wanna get married. *HINTS HINTS* hahaha don't need to hint, I know what baby will say... "When I strike toto lor!" And then I'll give him my sad face and say "So if you don't win toto you won't marry me??" Hahahaha silly us. (:

I wanna get my own house with baby. And stay at home doing my business. Maybe take up a part time job. Or best, if I could continue in my current workplace and work from home or work part time. I'd love to wake up in the morning to prepare breakfast for my love. Then cook dinner and wait for him to be home. I'd love to do all that.

Oh how I wish............ ):

Pocket Queens

2011-11-27T22:13:00.001+08:00

So..... Started my new job last week. Pretty good environment so far, just that I have really little supervision so I'm always feeling very lost. Need to be more confident in myself and the decisions that I plan to make. I'm always too hesitant and too afraid of making mistakes when it comes to work. Not sure if that's a good thing, but I see it as bad. :( Need to change!

And now it's the end of another weekend. I feel so depressed on Sundays because it means that it's another week till seeing baby again. Sometimes I feel like I'm overly dependent. Or maybe it's the lack of time we have during the weekdays so I am always looking forward to meeting him during the weekends, or at anytime we can. Managing expectations, I need to manage mine. It's never good to be this clingy.

Been a long time since I accompanied baby to a poker game and that was what we did yesterday night. You can see how army is draining all the boys because they used to be able to play till 6 in the morning and go for breakfast but yesterday around 4am most of them were already nodding off. Haha poor army boys..

Oh, and baby actually gave in to me and we watched You're The Apple of My Eye. Hehehe I think I will strike toto cos it's a Chinese romance movie which he'll never watch? But he did. Though he'll probably say it's cos I forced him to lah. :( Hahaha it was a great movie, so touching especially towards the end. Almost teared! Which is saying something because I rarely cry in movies unless it involves a dog who dies at the end.

Shall end this post with the theme song from the movie.

“常常听人家说，恋爱最美好的是暧昧的时候...”

Lay me down on a bed of roses

2011-11-07T21:31:00.002+08:00

Am feeling down for no particular reason. Probably because I really am dreading work tomorrow. ): Because baby is not booking in and it sucks when I can't spend time with him because of work. And now I feel like a clingy sticky gf. Itzzzz okayzzzz. Last week of work JUST HANG IN THERE DINE.

Haven't been updating this space and we've been through quite a rough time lately. I am so glad to have someone by my side through such times. I really wish for November to be a great month!

I am craving for..... ice cream. Chocolatey yummy ice cream. With waffle even!

Such incoherent thoughts strung into the above words. Shall stop my blabbering.

By the stars

2011-10-22T02:06:00.001+08:00

It's been a while since I last updated and I kinda lost the...... drive to blog? Probably because most of the time I see this space as a platform for me to pen my thoughts and emotions when it gets too much ie. when I am emo nemo. But lately life is all but that. (:

Got my license a while back and have been hitting the roads a couple of times. I really need to be more alert and safe cos I realise how reckless I can be and it scares me so many times to think of the "what could have been". I don't know if any other new drivers feel this way? Or is it only me and my overthinking and paranoia.

Attended baby's POP few weeks back and I feel so proud of my army boy! (: It's quite amazing how it's been 4 months since my love enlisted. I still remember how I was writing "Baby's POP!" in my diary on the day I sent him off at Tekong.

Went Genting last week for a short holiday or "honeymoon" as termed by baby to celebrate his post-POP. Haven't been there in a year and it was more fun than ever before. Probably because of the awesome company. (: Hehe Found many new activities to do in Genting which I've never known despite going there for holidays ever so often since I was a child. And of course, loved the weather.

Ah, a long wordy post. It's been long since I penned down my activities in this space. It's time for my intensive job search to end my misery working in the current money grubbing company! They are so ridiculous no one will believe it.

Shall end this post with one of my favourite pictures with Love.

I can't say enough how much I love this boy. (:

Xoxo.

My world

2011-10-03T00:45:00.000+08:00

So.... I realise how time flies since I started working and since baby enlisted. The coming Saturday will be baby's POP already!

Every week I just survive Monday to Friday at work looking forward to the weekends. And in a blink of an eye I've already started working for 3 months, coming to 4. Am still trying very hard to persevere in my current company.... I hope things will get better after the transfer of department.

This weekend got me thinking about the times when baby and I were dating, before we got together. Got reminded of how special he is to me cos he is the first guy who made me have the courage to get over all the fears and doubts I used to have about relationships. I don't know why either, but all I thought then was I need to give this a try. Never once had I have the fear of getting my heart broken, much unlike all the previous relationships I had.

He really is the most special guy I've met. And I can't say this enough, but I am so so so so blessed to have him. (:

Looking forward to his one week block leave and our trip to Genting next week! (;

Maybe it's true that I can't live without you

Random thoughts

2011-09-19T23:21:00.002+08:00

Was reading some blog and realised that we girls do overthink all the time.

I guess it's just in our nature to question every single move our other half makes, especially when you're upset.

Why is he not texting? Doesn't he miss me?

Why is he not replying? Did I do something wrong?

Why is he so cold in his replies? Has he stopped loving me?

Is he with some other girl?

And the list goes on... Does this apply to every girl? I don't know. But it happened to me all the time before. Is it the lack of confidence? Perhaps very much so.

Just a random thought.

I'm still very happily in love and have complete trust in my baby. (:

You keep me drowning in your love

2011-09-11T23:09:00.002+08:00

I love lying next to you

I love hugging you to sleep

I love waking up beside you

I love seeing you the moment I open my eyes

I love how you'll give me massages when I'm tired

I love how you'll pull me into your arms and hug me tight

I love how you'll hold me close and kiss me on my forehead

I love how you'll tell me you miss me

I love how you'll hug me when I tell you I want hug

I love how you'll whisper to me "I love you"

And everything and anything about you, I love.

You're the best thing that has happen to me baby, and words cannot describe how blessed I feel to have you with me. (:

Rawr.

Dancing away with my heart

2011-09-05T00:46:00.004+08:00

Friday night was a mad rush with work then Marketing Retreat at ECP then headed to Bishan to meet my favourite people + my dearest boy to MBK for Kiat Hwee and Eugene's pre-enlistment celebration!

Been such a long time since we had such crazy fun! It was the first time I went clubbing/pubbing with them since baby enlisted! Haha really missed those days (:

My dearest boy had to book in on Saturday so time spent with him this weekend was minimal but fulfilling as usual. (: Dreading the next weekend cos I'll have to work on both Saturday and Sunday ): Means I only have my night time free..... which is pathetic.

But I guess, like what baby said.. Through such times we learn to cherish every single moment with each other more. And I guess that's what makes us stronger. (: Still feeling so in love after all this while and I really hope this stays for a very very very very long time. ^^

Star signs

2011-08-22T22:49:00.002+08:00

Just read this and surprisingly found some parts quite true.

Gemini and Taurus have much they must learn from and to give to each other. Gemini teaches Taurus the futility of being stubborn and bearing grudges. Taurus teaches Gemini to be more practical minded and more consistent. Gemini and Taurus always work well together as a team, the practical Taurus shows the highly imaginative Gemini how to take and make the most of their creative ideas.

Reminds me of baby and his endless planning and analysing of every single thing! (: Taught me to be a little more organised and decisive in some sense. But I would say I'm still lacking in the decisiveness a whole lot. And I think it annoys him a lot. ): I'm learning! Haha

Sigh Day 1 and I'm missing him so so so much. Didn't get to say a proper goodbye to him cos he already left for field camp when I woke up. ): 4 more days to go.......

Anyway I've decided to remain in my current company. For a year at least. To learn, for the experience, and most importantly at least it'll look good on my resume. So..... Gambatte ne! Gonna drown myself in work so that before I know it it'll be Saturday and I can give my dear baby a bigggggggggg hugggg when I see him again. (:

Ja mata~

In your arms

2011-08-21T23:40:00.002+08:00

I wish I could lay in your arms forever. Cos that's where I feel the safest, where I feel home. Nothing else matters when I'm in your arms.

Feeling likka emo bunny now cos I'm missing my boy and the thought of not being able to hear from him for the next five days kills. Plus work is gonna make everything worse. ):

Sometimes it scares me cos I never thought I'd feel this way about someone. Ever. Sometimes it scares me when I realise how I'm growing to be so dependent on him. It scares me cos I know it means I'd never survive if I were to lose it all. Just sometimes.

5 days..... We will survive this. I know we will.

Just a kiss goodnight

2011-08-14T23:56:00.002+08:00

The only thing that's keeping me going every week - meeting baby at the end of it.

And every moment spent with him is beyond precious. Movie dates, late night suppers, hugging him to sleep.... Every single moment. Makes me feel so blessed and lucky to have him. <3

Apart from the shitty career that I'm having at the moment, everything else just makes me so contented with life. And that's what important isn't it? Being happy. Looking out for a career change so that my life will be perfect. (:

Weakness

2011-08-06T01:29:00.002+08:00

I think one of my greatest weakness is being unable to express how I feel. Happened countless of times. When no words could explain the thoughts and emotions in my head, and no sound comes out from my mouth. And "nothing" becomes my favourite word.

Career and Life

2011-07-25T00:15:00.003+08:00

Work is draining me out drastically.

I never knew that my job includes doing copy-writing 24/7 which is so freaking mind-draining. Plus I got to seek approval from a senior exec who rejects what I submit with ridiculous reasons.

I keep telling myself to persevere, at least till after probation. But probation is 6 months long and I really don't know if I can handle all this shit for that long.

I hate the hierarchy in the office. It's making everyone's job more difficult and so damn inefficient. But there's nothing I can do about it. She's senior what.

I always thought I would be cut out for an office job. I don't know if it's me, or it's the job. Though I highly think that it's the job. 6.45pm is such a ridiculous time to end work. Plus OT no OT pay and I foresee that I've to OT a lot in the coming months.

All this work shit is making me super tired. All I look forward now is the weekends where I can get to meet baby and unwind. Even then, sometimes I still think of the pile of work waiting for me back at office. ):

And you know what, after all this ranting, I figured I'll go for the SIA interview in August. Just to try my luck at something other than a 9 to 5 job. Hah.

Maybe I'm not cut out for an office job after all. If it's making me so unhappy then there's no point in staying, is there?

Bliss

2011-07-17T23:48:00.002+08:00

I love my army boy. (:

Paint a pretty rainbow

2011-07-09T23:31:00.002+08:00

It feels like the weekend ended early and tomorrow's just a day...... of not seeing baby and not having to work. ): I'm looking forward to Friday even before Monday comes! Hah life.

I really enjoy every single moment spent with my precious boy. (: Love how we made the best of the time we had last night and today afternoon.. Dinner at McD's for twister fries then ice cream afterwards plus lunch today.. The small talks on life, friends, work, NS... practically anything under the sun.

I love it when we talk about the dreams we have in future.. Silly, perhaps impractical dreams.. But yet such dreams give me the motivation to work harder in hope to achieve them for us. (: Even sillier goals like buying some silly gadgets to play our favourite game HEHE. (:

I used to be afraid of commitment and always hesitating when it comes to love. Always putting my efforts in the wrong guys. Guys who never appreciate or see me as someone special. Hah my archives speak it all.

This time it is all so different. I haven't been this sure of my feelings ever before. It feels wonderful to have someone who understands you, or tries his best to understand you. Who treats you like you're the most special girl on earth. Whom you know loves you. And it feels even more wonderful when you know that you feel exactly the same way about him. (:

People may argue that we're still going through our "honeymoon" period. Perhaps so.. But deep down I know that what we have is something special, something different. (: And sad to say, we were forced to pass our "honeymoon" period and are thrown into the world of NS and work. ): But we are coping well I would say. (:

Ah, what a long lengthy lovesick post. I just never thought I'd be able to find a love like that. (:

I love you my baby, so so much. (:

Together we can take it to the end of the line

2011-06-29T22:43:00.002+08:00

Me: "Goodnight baby! I love you!"
Baby: "Goodnight baby! I love you too!"
*silence*
Me: "Why you haven't hang up?"
Baby: "Why YOU haven't hang up? Haha ok ok we hang up together!"
Me: "Haha ok! Goodnight!"
Baby: "Goodnight! 1..2..3.."
*silence*
Baby: "Why you haven't hang up???"
Me: "Hehehehe ok laaaaaa"

Is it normal to still feel so very in love? Sometimes I still find it so surreal. The fact that I'm with someone so wonderful, someone so right for me. And I thank my lucky stars every single day. (:

Day Seventeen to be!

2011-06-23T22:52:00.004+08:00

And I'm feeling so excited! (:

Have been thinking about baby the whole day. About us, about how we got to where we are today. Pretty amusing at some point. Hehe (:

All I know is that I really am very blessed to have him. And I feel so in love, still.^^

And I know that he is like no other, no other before. <3

Day Thirteen

2011-06-20T21:55:00.002+08:00

Work is manageable, but waking up early every morning is draining me.
My 21st birthday was awesome! (: I really thank everyone who turned up and those who wished me as well.
4 more days to seeing baby again

And that's all I can think about now. I really miss you my baby.

Day Five

2011-06-12T16:38:00.003+08:00

So...... Haven't been blogging daily as I wanted to!

Had awesome retail therapy with mummy on Friday at Bugis! 3 pairs of shoes plus 5 tops for work! Muahahaha which left me in debt lol

And yesterday was dinz with Abby then headed down to Bishan then MBK (which is a Thai pub) with the rest! Ohhhhh visited Snoogle! Kenrick's new beagle puppy which is soooooooooooo cute!!! Hahaha

Baby said that he's proud of me for still going down to Bishan and meeting the rest instead of emo-ing at home! Hehe (:

I really miss him so sooooo much. ): Especially late at night when I can't get to sleep and then I'll start getting all paranoid. Then I tell myself what I read on Tumblr

"Don't listen to what you tell yourself at night. You are your own worst enemy."

It's true, so true. Ahhhhhh I really miss baby so fucking much sometimes I feel like I'm going insane!

Tomorrow will be my first day of work, which will make all the missing better I guess. I'm all excited yet nervous. What if I can't handle everything they give me? Nah, pessimism. I'll do fine I know. (:

12 more fucking days!

Day Two

2011-06-09T22:03:00.002+08:00

And we survived it. Now I look forward to baby's text every night! Hehe

So I'm officially hired, starting work next Monday! Woohoo~ (: Pretty excited about it!

Today was quite a long day, trying hard to busy myself so that I won't have time to be emoooo!

Headed to office to sign papers > Home to nap > Driving > Pole prac! Quite a productive day indeed~ ^^

AND TMR MUMMY'S BRINGING ME SHOPPING!!!

I can't wait. (:

Day One

2011-06-08T23:18:00.002+08:00

Decided to TRY to blog every day up till Day 17 so that I can remember how we made it through (: Hehe ^^

Soooo... my sleeping time seems to have revert back to more humanly hours, which is just in time for my job starting next week. YES I AM HIRED! I think. Heading down to the office to sign the papers tomorrow (:

I had an awesome day today at Kbox with my dear cuzzie Evelyn! (: It's been long since I last went KTV! So yeah my day was pretty much okay.

Received baby's text during his lunchtime and just now before he slept.. Makes me so happy to receive goodnight messages from him. (:

I feel so ridiculously in love like never before. ^^

Day zero

2011-06-07T20:58:00.002+08:00

Dear baby,

It hurts so much to see you so unhappy. Today's one of the worst days of my life too. Knowing that you're upset and not being able to do anything about it. ):

I know I said it a million times to you baby but please do take care of yourself! And please remember that I love you. (: I'm sure you'll be able to get this through, WE will be able to make it through.

Gonna miss you like crazy. I'll see you in 17 days' time my dear! I love you~

With lots of love hugs and kisses,

Your Dino.

Amazed

2011-05-17T03:52:00.002+08:00

Trademark - Amazed

Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I’ve never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams

I don’t know how you do what you do
I’m so in love with you - it just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I’m amazed by you

The smell of you skin
The taste of you kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me, baby you surround me
You touch everyplace in my heart
Oh it feels like the first time every time
I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes

Every little thing that you do
I’m so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I’m amazed by you

You know the kind of love you watch in drama serials or read in romance novels? The kind of love that seems so right, the kind of love that you know is made for you?

I never thought I'd find it. But I did.

Words can't describe how blessed I feel to have you in my life. To be able to love you. To be loved by you. (:

Taipei 2011

2011-05-15T04:48:00.010+08:00

Have finally decided to blog about my Taipei trip! I've wanted to go Taiwan ever since I knew the existence of Mike He and then Feilunhai hahahaha! So yeah, I was pretty much psyched up about the trip sponsored by my aunt! I was there with my mum and aunt.

Snapped a photo from my window seat while waiting for the plane to take off. I flew on Jetstar and it was the first time I was on a budget airline. I only sat SQ previously! Damn big difference I know and I don't mean to sound like some spoilt rich brat who only travels on SQ, I was just lucky!

And after an uncomfortable 4-hour-plus plane ride we finally reach Taoyuan International airport! And look what I saw the moment I landed! FEILUNHAI hahahaha! (:

We took a bus to Taipei Ximending where our hotel was located and left our luggages there. Could only check in at 3pm! So we went to eat at a nearby dessert stall!

Their Party World is HUGEEEEE! Didn't get a chance to go there though, cos it wasn't my mum and aunt's thing to KTV. ):

We stayed at Burgary Hotel which looked so tiny on the outside but the room was surprisingly spacious! With a king-size bed and a queen-size bed!

After that we headed to a nearby cafe which had an awesome ambience! Mum and aunt kept complaining about the food though. -.- That's all they did in Taipei - complain about food! Typical Singaporeans. Hah.

Then the next day we took the metro down to Shilin Market! I really love how the people there are so cultured, they really will queue while waiting for the train to come! Singaporeans ought to be ashamed. Plus no one would sit on the reserved seats!

I love Shilin night market! Aunt and Mum kept complaining about the food again but it's their local delicacies what!

The next day I decided no more local food cos I couldn't stand their complaints so we went to Seizeriya! Reminded me of Shanghai and Lavone!!!! I kinda miss Shanghai now :\

After which we took a train down to Danshui. Nothing much there but quite a nice place to walk.

And finally on our second last day we went to visit Taipei 101! But didn't go up the building cos it was pretty pricey and the queue was super long! Afterwhich we went to Raohe night market!

We also visited Wufenpu one of the days but we went too early and most of the shops weren't opened yet!

It was quite an ok trip I would say.. I would definitely enjoy it more if I went with my friends instead! I really love the people there, all so friendly and nice! Definitely will be going back to Taiwan next time.. I wanna go Kaohsiung and Kenting!

***

I'm looking forward to Phuket very soon! (: 2 more weeks!

On the floor

2011-05-07T02:32:00.002+08:00

HI I'M BACK FROM AN AWESOME TAIPEI TRIP!

But 5 days seemed extremely long and slow cos I was missing my zom- er I mean baby. (: hehehe I'll definitely head back to Taiwan. FOR SURE. More about that another day!

In the midst of all the GE heat, I've come to realise that I'm an apathetic individual who is highly influenced by my sister who is pro-opposition. Oh well thank goodness I don't have to vote.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing baby and celebrating his birthday tomorrow! Seriously feels like a month of not seeing him when it's only 5 days. :\ what is wrong with me. Thank goodness for the free wifi (SKYPE & WHATSAPP IS THE LOVE) I had at the hotel I was staying else I think I would have died of emoness in Taipei. Hehhhhhh.

Ok this is such a short and random jumbled up post.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!! (: WO AI NI MANY MANY! <3

(On a sidenote I realise that nowadays you have so many platforms to wish someone happy birthday. FB, Twitter and through whatsapp and msg and whatever else??? LOL)

Ok bye! I really am gonna crash soon now~

好不容易得到的, 絕不會輕易放手. (:

But all I see is you and me

2011-04-23T03:02:00.004+08:00

Random pics from all around! I realise I always snap like 4 to 5 pics max in a day and I get lazy already!

Sooo one of the days I went on an old school date with my bulbasaur (HEHE ^^) and we played PUZZLE FIGHTER! And also.............. DDR. HAHAHAHAHAHA :D Super embarrassing to the max but it was damn fun lah! Missed those ah lian techno song days~ wahahaha!

And another day we went to conquer Nando's extra hot peri peri! Which was no kick lahhh~~ cheh! HEHE (: And then my bulbasaur decided to take a series of unglam shots of me while I was trying to ask for the bill. -.-

Post them up here first! HAHA We watched Arthur before peri peri and it was an awesome movie!!! Everyone should watch it I think Arthur is so cute! (:

I feel so blessed to have a bulbasaur with me (: HEHEHE My life is awesome!

Cos nothing can compare in this world to you

2011-04-16T03:46:00.002+08:00

"I don’t mind when our conversations get a little boring. I don’t mind when we’re texting and we run out of things to say. When we’re hanging out together but not doing anything, well I don’t mind that either. It doesn’t matter to me because I finally realized that when you’re truly in love, every moment spent together doesn’t have to be breath-taking, that you’ll still feel like the luckiest person alive even through the most unexciting times, and you will feel completely comfortable together because you know that just having each other is more than enough."

Have you ever felt this way before? Like everything is just so right, and nothing can be more perfect. It's how I feel every moment right now. (:

Started my first driving practical today, made me feel very happy that I'm finally on my way to getting my license.

Moved up to P3 which gave me many bruises but I'm not complaining, I'm lessons away from learning how to do a Gemini! (;

Gave a month of notice to my bosses, so I'll be no longer working at Groove at the end of May. Which makes me kinda sad but I know I'll continue taking pole from there definitely. This means I gotta start my intensive job search so that I'll be able to start working full-time in June.

Stressful, but I will.

Right now I'm just gonna continue enjoying every moment I have with (L) while we can. (:

有了你之前的爱只是练习为了准备更好对你

And we'll only be making it right

2011-04-07T01:32:00.002+08:00

I really think life works in the strangest ways.

I can't describe in words how awesome my life is now.

All these thoughts are leaving you tonight

2011-03-26T06:15:00.002+08:00

It's been quite a long time since I updated. Been through a couple of things over the past few weeks...

Losing someone to death is never easy. I miss Ah gong, but I'm sure he's in a better place where Ah ma can take care of him, where both of them can live happily ever after.

On a side note, don't you think it's quite... silly to have a 3 or 5 days funeral?

You got to go through grief at the hospital where the doctors announce that they've tried their best.

And then throughout the 3 to 5 days at the funeral you learn to cope with your grief. You speak to your family and friends as per normal. You learn to accept the fact that your loved one is gone.

Yet on the last day, during the cremation, you are once again forced to face the grief of losing your loved one forever.

Something that went through my mind during the funeral.

And I'm so glad for you who was there for me, making sure I'm fine and coming all the way down just to meet me for an hour or two.

Recently I've been feeling so happy and blessed. Something I haven't felt in a long while. Or maybe even something I haven't felt before cos this time it feels so special. Yet the paranoia in me fears that one day I'll wake up to find everything gone.

My insecurity gets the better of me, every single time. ):

Stay with me tonight

2011-03-10T23:37:00.002+08:00

I'm kinda losing the touch for blogging. :\ It's not like I can express myself freely in here anymore.

Just recovered from a horribly long fever but life's good. Life's good. (:

Just because. (:

Stranger

2011-02-26T04:07:00.003+08:00

Are things always complicated because we think them to be...... Or are they really complicated?

This is why I hate it when I overthink. I get all insecure and I think about the countless complications and about this and that.

Why can't this be easier? Why can't things be easier?

Or can they be, if I want them to be?

How far would you go for your happiness? How far should I go for my happiness? If I'm happy, beyond happy, unbelievably happy right now, is it right for me to hold on to this no matter what the implications are?

Gosh, get a grip thoughts. ):

You and I, caught in a fading light

2011-02-25T03:40:00.002+08:00

Photos with Abby from that awesome night at Powerhouse. (:

Never thought I'd say that again. For the longest time I thought I'd just hate that place for the rest of my life.

But it's amazing how.... new memories will take over the old and you'll just forget the shitty time you spent in a particular place, and instead remember all the good times you've replaced them with.

Certain places always bring back not-so-good memories for me in the past.. But lately, the memories are slowly being buried by nice new happy memories. (:

***

So now I'm officially living the life of a semi-bummer. Semi, because I still am working at Groove almost everyday in the evenings.

I don't quite know what to do with my life yet, but more or less, I'm pretty sure I'll be choosing to work a few years before getting my degree.

In the meantime, I'm just gonna bum till my official graduation in May.

Ahh, life of a bumming graduate. Hurrrr.

Picture perfect memories

2011-02-15T16:47:00.002+08:00

How was your Valentine's day?

I spent my Valentine's curled up in bed, nursing a fever and sore throat, while missing my second last test for my entire poly life which means that I'll have to take a retest months later, and also missing out on my girlie's last outing with Ziya who'll be away for 1.5 months.

Sounds like an awesome Valentine's right? I know.

Sighhhh.

Oh well at least I had company, what are the odds of two people falling sick on Valentine's Day right. (:

***

Tomorrow is my last test, my last day in TP. 3 years, POOF! GONE! Still gotta take the retest for the test that I missed though. ): So upset for missing it!

After which................ I haven't decided on where to go. Most probably continue working part time at Groove for a few months, go on some holiday, probablyyyyyyy trying out for SIA interviews. HAH. Big dreams there.

Definitely don't want to go to a local Uni, at least not this year. I wish I were a rich kid, then I don't have to worry about all this financial crap.

LET ME WIN TOTO LAH THIS FRIDAY 11 MILLION THANKS!

The night is starry and the stars are blue

2011-02-09T01:55:00.003+08:00

How was your CNY?

Mine was pretty crazy, had awesome fun but crazy.

Day 1 was spent at Ah gong's house then grand aunt's house then on to maternal grand aunt's house. Which left me so bored cos no one gambled. After which headed down to Bishan, slacked wasted time then YZ's house for mj! Which lasted for barely a round. Then on to Pasir Ris with the favourites for poker (which I'm horrible at) all the way till.... almost 7am?

Day 2 was spent at yet another grand aunt's house, then home then left home at night for JT's house for mj yet again! Got home at around almost 7plus am again.

Day 3 I had work then met my girlies at Val's house where me and Yaya taught Mel and Mal how to mj (YAY MORE KAKIS!), then headed to ECP's C-nai for dinz and then to JT's house for mj againnnnnnn! LOL. After that was watching the boys play poker till almost 8am.

3 consecutive days of nonstop gambling is reaaaaaaaallly madness but so fun! (:

CNY is awesome this year.

***

So happy that I'm done with all my presentations. 2 more tests and it really is the end of TP for me. 3 years... coming to an end. Year 3 was the best Poly year for me. I love my crazy groupmates. I grew to be more sociable. I will miss my awesome groupmates. ):

And right now I'm having a sudden bout of emoness. All the thoughts that I've been trying to keep inside of me is dying to explode.

Why am I afraid to lose what I don't even have?

I'm so afraid that one day I'll wake up to find everything gone.

I'm afraid of all the words I find myself wanting to say and I'm afraid of saying them.

I'm afraid to lose it all yet I'm afraid of remaining status quo because I'm afraid that one day everything that we have will disappear.

I'm afraid that one day you'll disappear.

Here I am thinking

2011-01-30T02:26:00.000+08:00

I just needed to rant cos I'm falling asleep while doing IMC.

SCHOOL HAS NEVER BEEN THIS STRESSFUL! They're not kidding when they said that it's gonna be a short semester. There barely is any time for us to breathe. I'm suffocating under this pile of projects and the deadlines which are approaching in a weeks' time or so.

Anyway, apart from stressful school my life has been, as usual, pretty good.

I realised I've lost my platform to blog whatever I like. I hesitate, I think, I worry before clicking publish post each time I'm here, and I feel like I've to talk in riddles half the time. Times like these make me feel like making this space private. :\

What was saved in my draft a few days ago.

Right now I'm feeling beyond gloomy, beyond...... I'm just feeling :\.

Again the thoughts are overwhelming. Have you ever been too used to doing something, and when it doesn't happen for a day you just feel all out of sorts?

I have to remind myself again and again to stop being dependent. It's never good to depend on someone/something.

Sigh. I need a time-out on these thoughts. They're stifling, they're suffocating. And over-thinking ruins things.

Take a bite of my heart tonight

2011-01-20T23:37:00.005+08:00

"If I could grab down a star each time you make me smile, the evening sky will be in my hands full of stars shining."

I wish I'd be able to tell you all that I want to say. I will, one day.

Hold on another day

2011-01-17T01:08:00.002+08:00

Life........... hasn't been the best lately but everything gets better with a happy pill. (:

Never felt this stressed about school but it really is the last semester after all ain't it. Gotta endure and pull through this one month and soon I'll face the next milestone in my life. Not that I'm quite looking forward to it but.. I guess it beats this rushed and stressed out feeling I have everyday now.

Work has been awesome as usual, just got a pay rise woohoo! Started my pole class, which I plan to continue to at least Level 3. Love the people at Groove, all the instructors, my colleagues everyone there. They're just so fun to be with!

Sometimes I'm afraid that this genuine happiness that I'm feeling everyday would fade away one day. Then sometimes I feel that I'm thinking too much.

Take one step at a time.

Running down corridors

2011-01-13T14:14:00.003+08:00

So.. sometimes I really make the stupidest decisions.

But running away would never resolve anything would it? Facing up to it was the only way I could get over it for real. And so I did. You bet I did.

I could have ran away. I could have crumbled. I could have been crushed. But I wasn't and I didn't.

Because I know I'm stronger than this and I don't want to be like that each time I am faced with seeing the both of you.

Because it has dawned upon me how much of an asshole you are and I've reached the point where I no longer see anything good in you. Congratulations, because you are the first person who has made me give up on the belief that everyone has a good side in them.

Because it's over.

Let go of the hate, let go of the hurt, let go of the fucking pain that's been haunting me all this while.

Thank God for you. Thank you for you. (:

We'll find a way tonight

2011-01-11T01:20:00.002+08:00

Never thought I'd feel this way again after all that happened but lately, life's just awesome.

(:

Follow your heart

2011-01-05T01:56:00.002+08:00

Hello there.

This is just a post to remind myself that sometimes, it's useless to brood over those mindless thoughts I have in my mind.

Keep calm, and things will work out.

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011

2011-01-01T17:04:00.002+08:00

Last night was such an epic night with the usual favourite people!

Steamboat at YZ's house > The Tourist at AMK Hub > RESORT at ECP

First experience at a Thai club and I was like what the fuck? The ratio of guys to local girls is like 987348719:1. Damn smoky cos you can smoke everywhere and anywhere inside. And I almost died cos my cough was so bad I couldn't breathe properly.

But weeeellllll I would say it was a fun experience, especially when they played bad romance! which made everyone especially Josh go crazy.. Hahaha and oh, that stupid boy Eugene is a legend. End up puking in the cab and me and Josh had to hold the plastic bag for him..... -.-

Anyway, I can't believe another year has passed! It's eerily fast and it's only reminding me that I'm growing older ): So I'm gonna look at my new year resolutions for 2010

For 2010, I hope that I'll learn not to be so emotional (gan qing yong shi) and that.......
First one already fail. HAHA me? not emo?? who's kidding man.

I'll stop skipping lectures (very difficult, I know)

Ya, really very difficult. FAIL LAH.

I'll study harder, aiming for a GPA of 3.5 and above

Fail lah, no hope of hitting 3.5 already

I'll save more money

I did, before I went to Shanghai and now it's all gone ):

I'll spend lesser

I still am trying to

I'll start learning driving after my attachment

I DID! FTT NEXT MARCH (:

I'll keep in touch with my girlies and all my close friends

Definitely did (:

I'll grow even closer with my family

Yup, accomplished this too!

So... I would say that 2010 was an eventful year for me. I don't like it quite a lot but I don't hate it either. Spent 2.5 months in Shanghai was the bomb! Really made me learn things which I don't think I would ever be able to learn if not for the chance.

2010 also made me see how some people are really simply just motherfucking assholes. With nothing good left in them. I never thought that guys would go all out to hurt somebody this way but well, as usual I thought wrong. So fuck you, fuck off and good riddance. (:

At the same time, 2010 also made me see who are the people who really cares for me... With the H2HT and always being there for me ALWAYS when I'm down and crushed and a whole load of mess. Thank you and please stay in my life and never leave.

I guess my new year resolution for 2011 will be simple, BE HAPPY, AND MAKE EVERYONE AROUND ME HAPPY TOO! (:

I really feel that 2011 will be a kickass awesome year. (:

Soooo yeah, Goodbye 2010, and Hello 2011!

Awesome Christmas week

2010-12-27T03:43:00.002+08:00

So last week was pretty much awesome, found myself coming home early in the morning much to the nagging of my mom. Chyeah.

Pics from my chick's birthday last Wed and a random photo of my girlies at I at Sentosa on Thurs. Probably one of the craziest and stupidest decision to go to Sentosa at 10am a day after clubbing. I know. HAHA

So. Wed was Zouk to celebrate my chick's birthday. It was a good good night towards the end because of mambo and the company. (: Y-M-C-A~ you, doing that thing you do~

Haha I wanna go mambo again! And then Friday was BBQ at Bishan, epic night cos we were BORED beyond words. But it was all good. Better to be bored with company than be bored alone. LOL.

And Sat was Rebel/Zirca with the usual favourite people and it was awesome maxxxxxxxxxx! I LIKE (: Then today is a nice family dinner with my aunt and cousins, and of cos mom and sis!

Tomorrow will be the start of chionging my SIP report plus IJ if possible SIGH~ I don't wanna go back to school ):

And you know what? I think I'm starting to be happy again. Genuinely happy, cos I find myself smiling a lot lately. I guess it's true that good things fall apart so that better things can fall together. (: But bah, it was never good in the first place HAHAHA

Looking forward to the end of 2010, and the start of 2011~ (:

Have you ever

2010-12-22T16:34:00.002+08:00

... felt contented with all that you have now?

Like you're finally walking out from that shithole you were stuck in for ages, and you are finally seeing the light?

But that's all you should be, contented.

Because you can't risk it. You can't risk falling into the shithole all over again.

You can't.

Life as I know it

2010-12-19T01:25:00.002+08:00

Pics from meet up with one half of my girlies and Powerhouse last Sat.

Awesome now that most of my girlies are having the holidays so we can meet up like nobody's business.

Awesome now that I'm having holidays so I can club like nobody's (except for money urgh) business.

HAHA.

I think I'm kinda fucking my studies up by skipping lectures but heyyyyyyyyyy I still go for tutorials because I'm guai like that. :D Nah, because my groupmates are awesome people!

Need to start chionging my OSIP report, IMC IJ and....... practically everything because this sem is beyond short. 1 month is all we got to complete our reports! Whaaaaaat? Plus side is that I'll be graduating by end Feb. (:

And and, I'm back to work at Groove from tomorrow (WOOHOO I MISS MY POLE BABES!) and it's time for me to chiong my license too.

I think 2011 will be a kickass awesome year! (;

With crippled anger

2010-12-12T06:14:00.002+08:00

I'm beginning to hate Powerhouse, music and all. Mainly all. Stupid place with stupid music, stupid people and stupid memories.

Tonight could have been a fucking nightmare for me. Thank God I only end up fucking pissed and not upset.

I still can't believe what I was told to do.

?!?!?!?!??!?!????!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

YOU THINK FUNNY AH?

Ok, maybe I shouldn't be so gei gao. Maybe I should just show how fucking magnanimous I am. Maybe I should have just done some baby-sitting.

Or maybe you can just go fuck yourself.

Once a fucker, always a fucker.

Home sweet home

2010-12-07T00:07:00.002+08:00

So it's been a week since I've came back to Singapore. Missed the life here, somewhat still trying to readjust my life back to before.

Lost the touch for blogging, as you can tell.

Shanghai has been a wonderful experience.. And now it's back to my mundane life.

Some part of me wonders how I've been able to go through such mundaneness before?

One last sem in TP then once again it's the time to make a decision on another big step in my life. I hate growing up.

Ahhh. Wo bu xi huan.

Life's been about Vampire Diaries, Si Shen Shao Nu, Lost Girl and most recently The Gates. What's upppppp with me and the supernatural dramas. Hah.

Pardon for this jumbled post....... School tomorrow, I can't skip my exhibition and presentation can I.

Till the next time~

Hostel life

2010-11-09T23:08:00.003+08:00

It's been long since I've last updated!

Went through a shitload of drama but it's all OVER now. I no longer have to put up with her fucking unreasonableness. The most amazing thing is when I tried to explain to her that it's fucking tiring living with her, she can turn around and say is my fault. WIN LIAO LOR.

I'm now living in a hostel, a very amazing hostel! Hahaha the people here are all so nice and friendly (: Wish I had decided to stay here from the start but oh well.

Time flies, I'll be back in about 3 weeks. My mum and aunt will be coming in 2 weeks! I'm sooooo excited!

I wanna do a picture post but I'm so lazy to upload my photos. Plus work has been a little overwhelming lately... ): I will, soon!

I must and will enjoy the last few weeks in Shanghai.. Shop to my heart's content! (;

Alright now, will do a proper post with pictures soon!

Conquering Shanghai Expo

2010-10-29T23:22:00.002+08:00

It's time for pictures! It's been awhile since I last updated, work's been quite busy and I've been shopping so much lah! Haha

So last Sunday, Robert and I decided to go to the Expo before it ends! We didn't really wanna go but since everyone kept asking and saying we decided we should just go lor.. Haha Our dear colleague Melody accompanied us too! :D

Rob, Mel and I

People everywhere. Long queue but we didn't have to queue cos we used some staff pass and managed to get through! Damn lucky! Haha

Some of the pavilions that I took..

England

I don't know which country

Polska (Never heard of it before this lah)

Iceland

Spain (The counter staff bloody guailan. This Asian fucker, really. Think he can speak Spanish damn zai. PUI.)

Sweden

Canada

China

Mexico

UAE

Mel made us do model shots it's damn funny! We spent such a long time camwhoring in this pavilion lah!

SINGAPORE! I was missing home so much I was elated to see this! Felt like home HAHA

Singapore cuisine.. Roti prata, laksa..

Nothing much in the pavilion.. Ethnic costumes and a F1 race car!!

These poor guys were standing in the middle of the road and everyone else was snapping pictures of them, like some zoo animal lah!

And yeap, more people. CRAZY AH THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE THERE!

We were super lucky cos we had the work passes which were already expired actually, but we still tried our luck and managed to get into 10 pavilions in total!

We went to...

USA
Tunisia
Africa
UAE
Singapore
China
Peru
Mexico
Germany
Italy!

My favourite was Italy!!!

A huge high heel with its heel made out of more heels!

All the designer fashion stuff which I don't dig.. Not now anyway.

This was hanging on the wall. Amazing right! Made me miss the times in KCB like mad..

And....................

A FERRARIIIIIIIIII! My car thanks.

And then I'm lazy to upload anymore pictures so I shall just leave you with a picture of Mel and I as gnomes! Heh.

***

I still have many random pictures but I'm so lazy to upload them... Such a tedious process. It's crazily cold here, around 10 to 15 degrees everyday. My hands are constantly numbed I'm gonna get gloves tomorrow!

I bought so many many many clothes on Taobao I'm damn happy! Shall do a post solely on my shopping haul the next time! HEHE

Tomorrow I'll be celebrating Halloween at Richbaby with Lavone and Rob! DRESSING UP AS A VAMP (without fangs though) SO FUN I CAN'T WAIT! :D

Okay, I'm exhausted. Will update again soon!

Legend

2010-10-18T22:20:00.002+08:00

I've been here for a month already, and I can't wait to go home.

I always thought that I'm a patient person. In fact I think I'm like damn patient? In front of my friends I never lose my temper. I can keep quiet, act dumb, swallow my anger frustrations annoyance.

But never in my life have I ever met someone as self-righteous as my landlady, who seriously tests my limit of patience. Seriously self-righteous. No other words to describe. EVERYTHING she says is right. No matter how much I try to explain myself, NO FUCKING USE.

Seriously damn fucking cb what the fuck. Then what I do you also not happy you do lah? In the very first place I was told that you'd cook dinner plus do my laundry. I seriously don't mind at all to do my own laundry and settle my own dinner despite the fact that I supposedly paid for all these. I really, from the bottom of my heart, don't mind. I'm not such a geh gao person.

But fuck lah, I wash my clothes you say toilet dirty. I wash leg you say got footprint. Always saying got a lot of hair on the floor. Erm hello you also got long hair ok? And you want me to fly back to my room after washing my legs is it? Got no towel for me to wipe of course got footprints right. One day no footprints I see you scared or not lah.

DAMN FUCKING CB.

It's ridiculous leh, whatever she wants me to do. And the best thing is, she still can say "你看，你来到现在，我又没有讲过你？”

How about yes, fucking yes, that's all you've been fucking doing nagging at my every move, at every single thing I do.

I feel damn exasperated I want to fucking scream. SHE IS SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!

She makes me very vulgar cos I'm always swearing in my mind. "Knnbfuckyoulahcb".

She is a legend. Serious. _l_

***

Okay, I just had to rant cos I am really going crazy. Aside from this psycho ass that I'm living with, it's been a great one month so far.

I've been shopping a lot! Too damn much man.

This weekend was awesome!

Sat was Qipu (AGAIN!), bought a white BF shirt, 2 work pants and a bag. After that headed to Rob's house area then went for traditional massage damn shiok like $10 for 1 hour only!

Had dinner at Rob's house, got invited by his nainai and shugong who were sooooooooo nice and friendly and warm! Nothing like the person I'm staying with. I can understand why he wants to rush home after work lah! Haha damn jealous.

Sunday was Qipu (AGAIN AGAIN!) because I wanted to change the pants I bought, they gave me the wrong design. And ended up buying the same BF shirt but in black, plus two denim shorts and one black shorts. WTF right keep shopping! Hahaha Then KTVVVV damn awesome HEHE

Yup then it's back to work today. Woo wordy post! Haven't been taking a lot of pics lately, maybe this weekend!

I miss all of you, please pray that the Mrs Legend won't drive me till the edge! Haha (L) y'all~

Cos baby tonight

2010-10-10T21:07:00.000+08:00

More picture time!

So during the 7-day break, Rob and I went to MUSE, Qipu Lu (for the second time!), Lujiazui and Richbaby! (which is located right next to our office so it felt like we were going back to work HAHA

This is Lujiazui. There's this super huge shopping centre called Supermall somewhere around, and that is the amount of people at the area. Madness. It really feels like it's overpopulated here lor.

And this is called dong fang ming zhu. It's the 3rd tallest buiding in Asia? I think ah. Hahaha it looks like that airport thingy to me.

As usual, must camwhore at home first HEHE ^^

In Sg, always cheapo drink outside club first then go in. Come Shanghai ALSO CHEAPO HAHA but here is damn cheap, really.

Seeeee! That small bottle of Jack Daniel only cos SGD$4. LOL!

And then we went to Richbaby! It really sounds very stupid, Richbaby or Babyface. LOL. But the decor is really very glam and there're two rooms, Rich and Baby (so duh, right. Hahaha)

This ang moh damn funny! Totally photobomb us, and Rob said when he turn back the ang moh still trying to pose AHAHAHA!

Which reminds me, this ang moh's friend really look like MOOSE FROM STEP UP3! No kidding!

Quite mad to wear this only outside but the club was really stifling and warm so it felt okay haha!

We were hungry so we went out and there was this outside the club so we tried it! It's damnnnn nice I'm like craving for it again but I think only at night have ):

So yes, it's damn awesome the clubs here. WE HAD FLAMING LAMBO FOR ONLY SGD$16! Plus the bartenders pile the glasses high and set it on fire, still got sparklers one damn cool lah! Hahaha you can also walk in and out of the club, no one cares and there's no queue! AWESOME. :D definitely will go back to Richbaby again!

***

Teeny weeny Chivas! I'm gonna go around and look for more of this cos it's really damn cute lah!!! I don't know if I'll get caught if I bring them back to Sg though? Should be won't lah hor? Haha

And then there's Skippy peanut butter in packet form! But not v convenient cos the peanut butter is too thick, cannot squeeze all out one.

Yup, so that's the third picture post! Don't think I'll have time for anymore photos cos it's gonna be work work work every Mon to Fri from now on..

7 more weeks then I'll be back in Sg. I CAN'T WAIT! (;

My lips like sugar

2010-10-08T22:36:00.002+08:00

Okay, I wanted to do another picture post but then it'll be three picture posts in a row and that's so unlike me! So I've saved that for the next post (: And I've found a way to resize the huge photos so there wouldn't be teeny weeny pics anymore! (;

So I've been here for more than 3 weeks already, it's been quite a while no. But I'm still counting down to the days when I can go back to Singapore cos I'm really missing everything there. Not that I'm not enjoying myself here though, I am! Haha

There's just some conflict between my landlady and I and sometimes I wished I'd chosen to stay in a hostel instead. But then again, it's really very convenient here, I only take less than 30mins to go work which is really seldom in Shanghai. So what I'm trying to do now is to stay out or just lock myself in my room so as to reduce the chances of having to talk to her.

Work is crazily busy, with so many articles to translate daily, and I'm really sick of reading Chinese texts. But bo bian, I still have about 7 more weeks to go. Tahan! I like being busy at work though, cos time passes really fast.

Have been exploring Shanghai with Rob and we checked out Babyface (now known as Richbaby) a few days back and it was awesome! I shall elaborate more in the next picture post!

I think this trip is making me so much more independent, so much stronger. And when I'm back in Singapore, things that hurt me and affected me in one way or another will no longer be of matter to me. Cos I'm way better without those negativity.

And I've been thinking about my life in general, things that I've been wanting to do but never got around doing it. This time when I'm back, I'm more determined to do what I want. I don't want to live my life in regret, I want to at least try things that I wanna do. I wanna do them when I'm young, before I am forced to step into the corporate world and conform myself to the society.

I really miss everyone back in Singapore. My mom, my sis, Muffin........ My cousins, aunts... ): My girlies who are so busy I've never seen them online lol. It's okay, I'll make it through this and come out stronger than ever. (:

And oh, I've been so addicted to Sugar lately. "My lips like sugar~ this candy got you sprung~ so call me your sugar~" hence the title.

I'm gonna crash soon cos I only had 3 hours of sleep last night and tahan-ed through work today! Goodnight lovelies. ^^

PS. I FUCKING LOVE DAMON!!! I'm a fanatic cos every Friday I'll go to tudou and search for Vampire Diaries and if it's not up yet I'll refresh until it is. HAHAHA :D

MUSE Shanghai

2010-10-03T16:54:00.003+08:00

Picture post again! So Rob and I decided to check out Shanghai's clubs on Thurs. At first we wanted to go Babyface (now known as Richbaby LOL WTF) but one of our colleagues told us that the cover charge on a PH eve is like 500rmb which is $100 like whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! So yep, after googling and all, another colleague told us to try MUSE. And so we did!

Heh heh, camwhore at home first. My top is damn awesome only $16 from the awesome qi pu lu!

So this is where MUSE is located at, Yuyao lu.

Rob and I!

We went to buy beer before heading in. ME! BEER! Budweiser tasted good though, nothing like Tiger! I feel v proud that I'm learning to handle beer (;

And we ordered Jagerbomb, which had no kick at all cos look at the yellow glass, that's the amount of redbull vs the amount of Jagermiester (?) in the small glass! But only $10 cheap cheap!

Then there was this performance by whatever his name is who's kinda freaky and gross me out cos he started doing a little striptease *faints* He can shake and gyrate better than most females I would say. :O

After that was homeeeee! Cab fare back home was only $5? Haha so awesome right. :D

***
And now for some random photos.

I love this onigiri! it's only like $0.60 and the filling is a lot lah! I'd be happy to eat this every day!

And this is my favourite 600ml $0.60 coke. :D

And this is my going-to-die phone. No longer using it cos I just bought a $37 LG army phone. HAHA!

And this is my office table! Yep, we've to bring our laptops to work. And do you see that Mac bag on the table? That's what I have for breakfast almost everyday. I think I must have put on ten kgs since I've been here cos of Mac breakfast. ):

My only consolation is that we walk a lot around here so I hope that'll burn some fats off. ):

Anyhoo, how are you guys doing in Sg? I heard of the demise of Mrs Lee. I read xinmsn or cna here when I'm bored lah hahaha!

I'm going shopping at qi pu lu again tomorrow weeeeeeeeee! (; Take care you guys. 8 more weeks!

Week 1 in Shanghai

2010-09-27T21:23:00.003+08:00

Okay, picture post again! Seriously it's so tedious to upload photos but I took photos of course must share right!

This is my room! (: At first lah, then I returned the bed to the landlady.

And now this is my tatami! Hehe I like the word tatami (: I bought the quilt from Ikea it's so damn awesome I wanna go back there and buy more!

I bought this biscuits cos of Feilunhai! But not nice one, I ate one piece and I still have the rest of the packet in front of me now LOL.

There is DBS bank hereeeee! We felt so "home" when we saw that lah Haha!

The crazy traffic. It's really crazy especially during peak hours! MAD.

Buildings around my work place! Very high end shopping, and the building next to my workplace has Sephora and Muji! So awesome (:

Heh heh. You all miss my face? :x Eh I seldom post photos of myself in specs but whatever lah, I've been wearing specs to work anyway! ^^

Photos of myself and Robert at work! I had a piece of mooncake in my mouth which explains the retarded expression. HAHA!

We saw this temple at the station we alighted from, have to PAY to go in lor! WTH. Lol.

In the cab on the way to Qipu Lu with Robert during the 3-day break!

I'll take more photos and upload them soon! :D Will be exploring more during the one week break starting this Friday! You know why got break? It's their National day. Public holiday 1 week omg Singapore should just follow ah! Hahaha

The weather's getting colder and I'm gonna shop for Autumn clothes hehe, just an excuse but whatever. ^^ Am really getting used to the life here.. I like work > staying at home LOL. My colleagues are all so nice, even my manager is! She brings us out for lunch everyday lah.. And the things here are freaking cheap! Will show you all what I bought so far..

And I think I'm addicted to coke cos it's only 60 cents for a 600ml bottle! Plus I have it every breakfast cos I buy Mac which cost only $1.20 for one coke and a burger. WTH RIGHT!

So yeah, quite awesome living here, but of course I still miss home very much! Love y'all, hope you guys are doing great. ^^

PS. Sorry for the super small photos! It's either too huge or this size when I get the codes from Photobucket ):

Flashbacks

2010-09-25T00:23:00.002+08:00

Being home alone really makes my mind wander like fuck. And as usual, reminisce like I always do.

I read through some stuff and it just got me thinking.. As much as I know it's better to not lead people on, I guess I really was giving too much fucking attitude. And I really wanna apologise for that. I'm sorry ):

***

So...... you know what I'm really afraid of?

I'm afraid that even after this 2.5 months here, I'd not be able to forget what happened. That it'll always be hurting like it's hurting now. That the scene will always be replaying in my head. That each time I see your name my heart will always ache. That I'll still be able to come up with some fucking dumbass excuses for my stubbornness.

I'm afraid, that I'm never gonna be strong enough to get over this.

真的够了，能不能让心别再疼了...

Fuji's wedding

2010-09-22T20:35:00.002+08:00

Picture post!

Let me rant about how tedious it was to have these photos up on my blog. I had to upload them to Flickr, then copy the html code of every single one of them and paste it here! I have no idea why Blogger's being such a bitch! ):

Okay, end of rant! I'm too lazy to arrange these photos so ya, girlies here are the photos I took on Fuji's wedding! (:

It was really sweet lah, make people wanna get married only! Hahaha.. Weddings give me hope, that love's not lost, love's not all about hurt.

I'm going shopping tomorrow! So excited hehe :D I'll be posting up more photos the next time! Love y'all. ^^

Chin up, stay strong

2010-09-19T15:15:00.002+08:00

Gah, wanted to do a picture post but Blogger is not letting me upload my pictures.

Anyway, HELLO FROM SHANGHAI! It's been quite an okay 3 days so far.. Touched down on Thurs, Fri I went down to my office to meet the people. They seem very nice, I hope they stay that way haha..

Yesterday was Fuji's wedding.. Took quite a lot of photos of the bride and groom! Will upload them another time.. Got to know a lot of Fuji's Indonesian friends and a couple of locals too.. (:

Went to the Partyworld here, I SWEAR IT'S LIKE A HOTEL! Hahaha got lift and room number and all that.

I miss home a lot. I miss my mum, my sis, MUFFIN, my cousins, my dad........... my friends..... ): I get bouts of homesickness like that and I feel like bursting into tears. Sigh.

It's really quite scary living on my own. I really need to be independent and protect myself. Just like how I got lost yesterday, really damn scary. But thank goodness the locals here are very friendly and nice so I managed to find my way..

I can't wait for work to start because when I have all the time in the world the memories come rushing back and I feel all weak again. And I feel that heartache that I'm supposed to forget and let go. I guess it's the kind of pain that never goes away.

Okay damn emo now. CHIN UP, STAY STRONG.

Independence

2010-09-16T03:37:00.002+08:00

9 hours to flight time. Then it's goodbye Singapore, hello Shanghai. (:

I've been feeling much much better. So much to the extent that there is barely any hatred left. Cos when you hate, it means some part of you still cares. And I don't. Not anymore.

It's been a great few days. Catching up with best friend Cherlyn, Royston, Yisiang, Da jie and Yeng Jie for lunch on Mon. Then my favourite steamboat at Tianfu for dinner with my family and cousins.

Then supper with Mei Yuan for two consecutive days.

Had awesome lunch with my paternal aunts and cousin today. And I just came back from Bishan, met my shifu, stupid boy and my chick.

I feel very loved by everyone, really. My family especially. All my aunts are fussing over me, telling to take care.. And my friends.......... (:

2 and a half months isn't a very long time, but it's not very short either. I seriously am gonna miss everyone here ):

I don't know if I have any chance to blog there, hopefully Blogger is not banned.

Till then, I'll see you guys on 30 November. (: Loves!

Push it in and twist the knife again

2010-09-13T01:05:00.002+08:00

How do you stop a heart from hurting

I know I know I know it's not worth it feeling so upset. But it hurts so bad. Torn, ripped apart. I keep seeing the sight of both of you. Keeps replaying in my head.

I need to be strong. I need to get over this.

But at this moment I'm feeling so weak. All I wanna do is curl up onto my bed and cry myself to sleep. I don't wanna be this pathetic.

So did you enjoy that? Did you enjoy tearing me apart, did you enjoy seeing me crushed. I keep thinking to myself why? Why would you wanna do that. Even if you had to, why in front of me? Why, after I told you how I really felt. Why?

I knew from the start what I was getting into. But I had no idea it was going to hurt this much. I never once believed you would go to such an extent to hurt me this way.

And everyone else could see what a fool I was.

I want to say that I fucking hate you but I don't think you even deserve my hatred. 3 more days.

I really need a break. I need to get away from you. I need to remember who or what you really are, and forget what I thought you were.

And I hope one day you'll wake up and realise that it's your fucking loss.

.... Stop the heartache already. )':

Beyond redemption

2010-09-12T10:03:00.002+08:00

Thanks for making my last clubbing night so damn unforgettable.

Seeing you kiss another girl in my face?

FUCKING PRICELESS.

I don't think I'll be okay in a very long while. But thanks for making me see who you truly are.

_l_

Cos I fucking deserve so much better.

Just another

2010-09-09T11:17:00.002+08:00

Less than lovers, more than friends.

Buried myself in this hole so deep I don't think I can ever get out of it.

So I asked, and you answered. But the silliest thing is that I can't seem to trust your words.

I feel like I'm just another girl in your life.

I know that I'm just another girl in your life.

And the saddest thing is knowing, and choosing to ignore what is blatantly happening in front of you.

I'm that stubborn. I'm that stupid.

明知道爱你不会有结果为何还如此执著

明知道爱你只是继续错为何还如此脆弱

Random updates

2010-09-07T16:45:00.003+08:00

9 more days till Shanghai
I'm kinda panicking at 1.
Packed my formal wear but nothing casual yet
Got a debit card, look damn classy HAHA
Supper last Sat was :\ cos the music cannot make it ah
9 more days
Lost the strength to hold on
2.5 months of not being able to see Muffin + everyone I love ):
9 freaking more days
I don't wanna hope for anything anymore

9 more days. I love my debit card lor, so nice (: How long does it take to forget someone? 2.5 months? HAHA

Okay lah, this post damn random and jumbled up.

To-Do list:

Pack my things at home
Pack my luggage
Bathe Muffin (for the last time in 2.5 months ): )

I donno. I feel like I got a lot of things to do but I'm still lazing around. Gahhh.

Genting

2010-09-02T17:54:00.005+08:00

Picture post from Genting!

The trip brought back many childhood memories as Genting was one of the holiday destinations that my family would always go to during the June or December holidays!

And when family, I mean aunties, uncles, cousins, many many of us! But since my favourite aunt passed away in 2001, we never planned a trip there for all of us anymore. So I was really glad when the trip was confirmed! Aunts, cousins and us once more (:

The four adult adults (my aunts and mom)!
The five of us kids (Haha, I know we are no longer kids but, we used to be when we went to Genting!)

A falied attempt at a group picture. Haha anyway all these statues were here since the first time we went Genting! Never change at all lah this place. It's called The Mushroom Farm (:

With my best cuzzie Evelyn (:
And my sissy! My sis say wah, this photo our hair one gold one red. HAHAHA she's a CAL lor.

Camwhore photos cos I was bored. HEHE ^^

Jumpshot #1 fail.

Hahaha I look damn spastic but I jump very high okay!! HAHA
And it was this foggy outside when we were back at our hotel room.
AND I BOUGHT A PINK LIGHTSTICK (: it's so pretty I wish it lasted forever.
And we played poker at night, and it was the night when I drank more than one can of Heineken myself. *APPLAUSE* I must start learning to like beer cos hard liquor is damn expensive. LOL

It was a great 3D2N trip, although I was sickish when I reached there and fell totally omg sick when I came back with fever. I love family trips, I love being around people who love me, I love seeing everyone of us enjoying ourselves. (:

I wanna go Genting with my friends next time though, COS NO ONE WANTED TO PEI ME GO THE THEME PARK! Was so disappointed. ): Never mind, next time!

***

I have only a week plus more before I leave for Shanghai. Now that it's so near, I'm getting all jittery. Need to start packing my things.

I'm gonna meet up with alllll my friends before I leave. I guess I won't even have time to ponder over all this uncertainty.

OH OH, FEILUNHAI'S COMING OUT WITH A NEW ALBUM SOOOON! (; I can't wait. Hehe

Never say never

2010-08-27T00:54:00.002+08:00

It's still in a state of uncertainty.

I think it's really karma. Thinking back, I was so unsure of how I felt back then, I remember my answers to your questions are always "I donno".

And now, I still don't know your answer to "scared what?".

I think about the whole thing I also want to laugh. Back then, I didn't have the courage to face up to my emotions. Right now, I finally stopped being scared of how I feel, and want so much to fight for this. And you're the one with the drama, the doubts.

Funny right?

Ahhhh. The complications.

8 months, 8 months lehhhhhhh. This is the first time I find myself liking someone for so long. Like really like like that kind of like.

But why must things be so complicated? ): Why can't it be as easy as I like you you like me everybody happy?

Sigh. And I'm refusing to entertain any discouraging thoughts. That I may just have happened to be there. That you were just using me to get your mind off her. Or to get back at her.

No. Refuse. To. Believe.

I just wanna have the courage to ask you if you mean those things you said..... Yea right. Me? Courage??

HAH.

One step forward, two steps back

2010-08-23T16:57:00.002+08:00

"Too much to handle" on Saturday.

I've got so much I want to say to you, but I don't wish to add on to the drama you're facing at the moment.

I meant what I said, every single word.

And...... I wish you meant it too.

This time, I don't care how many times I'm gonna be reprimanded for being stupid, stubborn, dumb. This time........... I'm gonna hold on to this.

Now all I can do I pray that it's real.

Choices

2010-08-21T04:11:00.002+08:00

Pics from Mal's birthday celebrations. (: I love.

***

I'm feeling much better, no longer as messed up as I was earlier.

I was so fucking down yesterday, especially during the night when I tried to sleep. All I could think of was the scenes replaying in my head. I tell you, damn fucked up. _l_

Meet up with the girlies today was too short. ): Wished I had them all around, but at least Yaya accompanied me to fulfill my KTV craving. (:

Really have to thank the stupid boy Eugene for accompanying me to watch The Expendables (DAMN FREAKING AWESOME MOVIE GO WATCH IT!!!) yesterday as part of my "therapy" LOL, Yaya and Ryuju for accompanying to sing K today.

I really don't know what I'll end up doing without my awesome friends. I was really so so so so..... screwed up. But now I guess I've sorted out my thoughts.

Choices, decisions. They all say I have nothing to lose. I guess I'll have to get over my cowardice then. But will I.....? I shall take my time to think about it.

Yaya said that I was stupid to walk away. Maybe, but I just felt incompetent. And I don't wanna be that kinda girl who throws herself at others. I wouldn't stoop to such a level no matter how much I feel for someone. It's just not right lor.

OKAY, I shall stop being bitchy. Sometimes I amaze myself with my own emotions. They ask me why I like, I couldn't come up with an answer. Cos I'm like that.

Stupid lor?

Liar

2010-08-20T02:34:00.002+08:00

Another wrecked night.

I thought I could. Could not care. I know I should. Should not care.

I tried so hard to keep it all in, tried to forget how I felt. Believe me I tried.

It's so ironic how what happened just proves that I shouldn't be so stupid anymore, that you're not worth it, but the feelings, they won't go away.

It hurts. So fucking bad you can't imagine.

Nothing good will come out of this. I'm just putting myself in such misery over nothing.

I..... don't know what I can do to stop this crazy shit.

Wrecked. So fucking wrecked.

Wise up

2010-08-16T00:45:00.002+08:00

Why do I love to put myself through such shits, I really do not know.

Maybe I just enjoy being torn apart, maybe. I know I've said it time and time again, that it's gonna stop, that I ain't gonna be stupid anymore. But really, I've been holding on to that little ray of hope all this while.

And yesterday, it just hit me. My stupidity hit me right smack in the face. It was the last time, really.

Last time I feel so fucked up.

Last time I keep thinking why.

Last time holding on to the little memories.

Because some people are just better off as friends and I know that.

So I'm gonna brace up, forget whatever happened. It's gonna be easy for me cos it IS so easy for you.

It's a new day and I'm brand new.

Friends > Lovers. I know that, cos all relationships fuck friendships up, remember?

When I was young

2010-08-11T02:06:00.004+08:00

And so I was looking through the old photo albums for a baby photo that I could put up on my tumblr and decided to snap a few pics of me when I was younger!

Seriously my nose was damn round last time! My mum told me that my grandpa called me "suan-tao pi" which means garlic nose in hokkien! And after looking through all the photos I REALLY THINK MY NOSE LOOKED LIKE A GARLIC! HAHAHAHAHA

My mum said that she pinched my nose bridge everyday when I was young, hoping that I will have a sharper nose AND I AM SO THANKFUL SHE DID LAHHHHHHH! Hahahahaha!

JUST STARE AT THE NOSE! HAHAHAHAHAHA! And oh man, I really look like a boy last time lor! I remember there was once a dad asked his son to give way to KOR KOR, referring to me! I was so upset can.. LOL.

And I shall end off with my favourite picture! Damn cute lah! I was supposed to stand beside my cousin but I ran away! Hehehe.. (Psst, my sis so stylo, so young wear highwaist denim skirt sia! HAHA)

I had fun looking through old photos; wished the innocence and simplicity of childhood could remain forever though.

School's OUT

2010-08-05T01:14:00.002+08:00

Okay it's officially the holidays for meeeeeeeeeeeeee!

1. Excited about JB trip this Sun to colour my hairrrrr!

2. Super excited about Genting trip on 28 - 30 August!

3. SUPER FRIGGING EXCITED ABOUT SHANGHAI IN SEPT!!!

This year is indeed an awesome year (;

***

But anyhoo, although I'm in an awesome mood now, something just dawned upon me just now while I was frying my cheese hotdogs.

Random time, but.. ARGH. And once again I cannot express myself freely.......... but I shall, try.

It just boils down to the fact that apparently my reason behind what happened and _'s reason behind what happened ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS. And here I thought it was mutual, I thought we both understood. Apparently not.

Then I realise that once again, as I do not like speaking up, I do not like sharing such things with acquaintances, everyone only knows _'s side of the story..........................

which once again, brings everyone to the conclusion that I'm a bitch. YAHOO.

It just annoys me how I can't understand the mindset of someone else. Someone who used to be so close to me. It annoys me how someone can change so much to the extent of becoming a mere stranger.

But you know what? Fuck it. Said I wasn't gonna care, so I ain't gonna care.

Let people think what they what, let people change how they wanna change. It's so ironic when people tell you they're gonna change for the better, just to prove it to you that they can, and all that happens in reality is the exact opposite.

AH HELL, ain't my life so....... (:

FUCKYEAHHOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

PS. I'm not like akjhskhkdhfkaheruhuhf UBERFREAKINGUPSET over this whole issue, just a random realisation which sparked this rant. I'm cool about this shit, just had to get the annoyance outta my chest. ^^

Endless rants

2010-07-26T02:53:00.003+08:00

1. Resigned to the fact that some people will always be near as much as it scares me, there's no denying we have like 82789278937 mutual friends.

2. Each time I see the words "I promise you I'll stop", I get all irritated but no, I'm gonna stop cos I can't be fucked anymore.

3. Saturday night brought back some memories, again. Happy ones though. If only it lasted.

4. Don't know how I feel anymore. Don't wanna feel anymore. Hang on, maybe I already stopped feeling.

5. I miss y- no, I'm not gonna go through that whole shit again. Don't wanna.

6. Indifferent. I'm just gonna learn to be indifferent till the day I find someone worthy of all this crap I'm feeling.

7. Sometimes I think my whole life is about mistakes. So I should learn from them and not make such stupid mistakes again.

8. I need a sign.................................................. cos I'm lost again.

Of tea, clubbing and barbeque

2010-07-26T01:18:00.003+08:00

Tea at Marmalade Pantry to celebrate Vic's birthday on Friday! That place is seriously overpriced zzzz plus the service and food is so totally not up to standard! At least we got to catch up with each other yet again (:

I was feeling damn tired that day cos I had stupid Strat Mark presentation which totally drained me.

After tea was dinner at A Pinch of Salt with Val, Ian, Yaya and Mel. TOTALLY YUMZ CHEESE FRIES I SWEAR! Then MJ-ed at Val's house and supper!

I love late night suppers and car rides. Am so totally gonna drive myself around in the middle of the night when I get myself a license! (:

Yesterday was Rebel/Zirca with my chicks! Got locked out of Rebel cos it was full and was stuck at Zirca with its horrible horrible trance music................ Killed me. Managed to head to Rebel after my chicks' relentless whining to the bouncer (HAHAHA!) and finally some R&B!

It was the first time I clubbed after my birthday! Which is damn long ago please! LOL.

***

Just came back from 1B12's BBQ gathering at Pasir Ris. It was fun catching up with everyone. (: Haven't got the few pics yet but will post it up when I get them!

Such a fun-filled weekend. I LIKE~ (:

I have a lot of thoughts running through my head at this moment but I don't know how to put them here. It's like.......................... I just really hate how relationships fuck friendships up. Ah. I really don't know how to put every single thought here. Forget it, there's nothing I can do. It's not my life anyway.

And on the other hand, I'm looking to more clubbing on weekends cos stupid boy Eugene is having his holidays! (;

Shooting stars and fireworks

2010-07-22T17:27:00.004+08:00

I want to blog about the dream I had last night, which I still can remember so vividly!

It was a weird dream but it was damn real okay! I was out with two someones (cannot say who lah, I SHY!), then my hand bumped into _'s hand a few times and after that he actually held my hand! Hahahahaha! After that we went through the "so are we together or not" crap. Hahahahha

I felt the emotions that I had in the dream subconsciously ok! The shy-ness, the heart-beating-damn-fast feeling. LOL! What the hell I think I'm going crazy. But it was such a sweet dream awwww. ^^

***
ANYWAY, IF YOU DON'T KNOW YET, I GOT INTO OSIP!!! Will be off to Shanghai for 2 and a half months from September! SO. FRIGGIN. EXCITED! Hehe

Now my only hope is to be able to find reasonable accomodation! Even a six-bed girls dorm will cost me $600 plus per month. ):

Pic's from my ah gong's 80th birthday celebration at Resorts World!

My ah gong with ALL his grandchildren hehe ^^
My sis and I with my ahgong (:

Tix to Universal Studios!!

I LOVE USS! I'M DEFINITELY GOING BACK THERE SOOOOOON! FOR THE RIDES!

The things there are so surprisingly affordable and you'll definitely love Betty Boop after your visit there! Hahahaha I LIKE (;

Anyway, majority of the shitass projects are done and I'm left with 3 presentations and stupid end sem tests ):

Can't wait for the holidays babehhhhhh! :D

Aphyxiated

2010-07-15T02:53:00.002+08:00

I miss my childhood. I miss how things used to be so easy....

It was so easy to let someone know you like them, and even if they don't feel the same you guys can still become good friends. Everyone was so easily contented.

I miss the innocence of puppy love. When the mere touching of hands caused both parties to blush and run away. I miss how it seemed to be so easy to talk to someone you like on the phone for hours and hours, even when you guys are just friends.

It's tough growing up. So damn tough.

I wish I have the courage I had when I was younger, when confessing to your crush was as simple as abc, when facing rejection was just "oh ok, let's remain as good friends then!", and really remaining as good friends.

And I don't know why I'm still having this random bouts of emoness and sudden pangs of missing. What will it take for me to forget everything? To forget the emotions felt back then, to forget the conversations, forget.......... everything.

Or, what will it take for me to face up to how I feel? To stop being such a coward and hiding every fucking feeling I have and convincing myself that it's all a mistake. It's just so silly to feel like that over something I have no control over.

Not a good time to feel like that. Gonna drown myself in projects when I wake up tomorrow so that you can be out of my mind. Goodness knows how much my mind and heart needs a break. It's getting way out of hand, all this silly thoughts.

Another wordy post. I'm such a wordy blogger.

Halfway gone

2010-07-09T00:49:00.002+08:00

I. NEED. TO. DIET.

Seriously I don't know what's wrong with me for the past few days I keep feeling hungry 24/7! ): And I'm always giving in to the hunger! ): ):

I don't dare to weigh myself now sighhhhhhhhhhhh.

Anywayyyyyyyyyyy, I realise that I'll be having my holidays in like 3 weeks' time? That's like omgwtfbbq fast because it also means that......... the friggin project deadlines are all coming sooooooon! Never mind, just get this shit over and done with.

And ooohhhh, I'm really hoping that I can get into OSIP!

And and and, I am wanting to shop very badly but that's like bad cos I'm supposed to save! But it's okay! I'm going to a flea this Sat after work wooooo! :D

Okay short random updates about my life. Over and out!

Lust

2010-07-03T02:37:00.003+08:00

I know my birthday just passed........ But I really really really like this wallet a lot!!

Any kind souls? *gives Shrek puss-in-boots face* Wahahahahah kidding kidding.

I shall attempt to save for this. Note the word, attempt. Hehe

Jas'thm

2010-07-03T00:25:00.004+08:00

Mal's crib yesterday night for Val's post-birthday celebration. I think we're like the greatest ever.

I love how we still make an effort to celebrate each and every one of our birthdays.
I love how we accept one another's flaws.
I love how we'll always be there for one another, even if within us some of us are closer than the rest.

I've got the greatest group of friends ever. (:

I knowwwwww I hope that you girlies won't get worried about me because of what I... confessed? Hahaha

I'm probably going through another stage of puberty right now, hence all the stupid thoughts and stuff. I'll get over it!

I love you awesome girls, jas*hm. hehe

***
Anyway, some overdued photos from best friend Cherlyn's 21st birthday back in April. Just feel like I need to have more photos in this blog.

I feel like I'm growing up too fast and I don't like it. I don't like how complicated life's becoming but I'll leave that to another emo rant post.

Sigh.

I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets

2010-06-29T00:43:00.003+08:00

I've been feeling strange lately. This unexplainable sense of gloom and negativity. It's overwhelming. It's stifling. Like a dark cloud hovering over me.. And I'm just englufed in the darkness.

I've been battling with a thought which I've never faced before, and all of a sudden it seems so hard to fight it away. And it scares me cos a part of me doesn't want to fight it away, at all.

How far will you go to fit in?

I'm all jumbled up, bits and pieces all around. I need to get my act together.

Every choice I make has its repercussions. But what if this time........ I'm just tired of doing the right thing?

Travel dreams

2010-06-24T16:46:00.006+08:00

I REALLY HOPE I CAN GET INTO OSIP!!! It seems a tad closer now that I've received a call from my teacher-in-charge! (:

One of my greatest dream is to be able to travel around the world. I'm always very envious when I read blogs like Cheesie's or Xiaxue's where they're able to travel to many many places! And I wanna be able to too, when I'm financially capable in future (: That's the reason why I wanna be an air stewardess too, cos I get to travel around the world!

So I've decided to come up with a list of countries that I wanna go to, starting with the most achievable!

1) TAIWAN

OF COURSE TAIWAN!! Hahahaha the food, the fashion, the shopping.................. AND OF COS THE HOT GUYS! Hehehe

I've always wanted to go Taiwan since I know of Mike He and gone crazy over him AND THEN THERE WAS FEI LUN HAI ^^ OMG! Hehe

2) AUSTRALIA

I wanna go Gold Coast Universal Studios!

3) JAPAN

Seriously who doesn't wanna go to Japan?! I wanna see Sakura blossoms.. I wanna eat authentic sushi and sashimi.. I wanna go there to learn more about the Japanese culture! And of course, the fashion there is crazy! Hahaha

4) AMERICA

America's so beeeg I know, but I just wanna be able to even step into any parts of the USA! I would love to visit New York, L.A, Miami.... the list goes on!

5) ROME

Rome.... It's like my dream honeymoon destination! The rich culture........ is just so enticing lahhh and it gives me the very romantic feeling!

***
And of course many many other places...... The list is endless!

I really would love travelling around the world...... So I'm gonna work hard for it in future! (:

The Big TWO-ZERO

2010-06-21T02:54:00.005+08:00

My girlies and I went for dinner at V8! Yaya couldn't make it for dinner cos she had work.. ): But she joined us at Supper later on! :D
They all said I was very feminine that night! Felt quite weird cos I'm always very chor lor! Hahaha must learn to act more girl!

After dinner, Mal and Vic had to go so Val, Mel and I waited for Yaya and Ian to come then we headed to Supperclub!

Met these guys (Stupid boy Eugene was the photographer! And I realised I never take photo with him lor.. cos that silly boy got drunk tsk tsk)
Hahaha this pic damn funny! That is my SHIFU trying to get me to dance solo!
With my girlies and my CHICKS! hehehe So pretty all of them (;

"Do funny faces!"

My awesome girlies and chicks! Made me such a happy girl (:

Amazingly enough, I was damn sober that night. Which is a good thing. I was really a happy girl. At that moment. (:

I know I sounded really miserably emo in my last post. I was (still am? maybe.). Just damn tired of pushing away my emotions and putting on a facade just so that people will stop probing. This used to be a space for me to be as emo as I could ever be. So I figured why should that change?

But I'm getting back on track.. I will get over this cos I almost did during the past few months. I don't think there's a chance of my walls crashing down again..... Though the thought of this makes me..... feel sad.

It's for the better. For the better.

THANKS FOR ALL THE BIRTHDAY WISHES ON 17 JUNE! (; I'm blessed to have people around me who cares. That, should be all that matters.

PS. School starts tomorrow, or should I say in 6 hours' time and I'm not feeling sleepy. This is siao liaoooo!

Can we get this back

2010-06-20T02:10:00.002+08:00

“Nobody understands how much I miss you, miss how much we used to talk and miss all the thing we use to do. I try not to admit it to myself that I still feel this way. Nobody knows that I still wake up thinking of you and I really do miss you. I would give up everything I have to be everything we’re not.”

Heart on sleeve, I really do miss you. I don't care if I shouldn't. I don't care if it's not right. I don't care if it's not worth it. I don't care...................

Just this moment, let me be weak-willed. For this one moment, with no facade on. I, miss you. And those conversations that we had. Everything.

I just wish I knew what changed. Me? You? Or simply just time?

I'm sorry I thought there could be more than this. I'm sorry for never being able to be a girl who faces up to her emotions. I'm sorry for never having the courage to say how I really feel.

I wish you knew.

Ni-ju

2010-06-18T01:12:00.002+08:00

I had a wonderful birthday! Dinner with my girlies then Supperclub on Wed night was kick-ass awesome!

I feel very loved by the amount of wishes I got thru sms or on FB. <3 Really made me a happy girl (:

But right now, I'm having trouble sorting my emotions again ): I know right, again. I'm trying so hard to not be affected, to not FEEL anything but it's so mf**king difficult it gets on my nerves. And then I get pissed at myself cos it's not like I can do anything about it.

It's not something I have control over. I can't control my feelings and neither can I control someone else's. So best thing is, IMMA JUST FORGET IT.

): 可是, 心很痛...

Picture post up another day, when I'm less emomemo elmo without the "l".

Wishlist

2010-06-14T00:08:00.002+08:00

Hi hi I'm here to post a wishlist to make life easier for my girlies HAHAHA

But I really can't think of what I want! Like specifically. Hmmm...

1. Clothes? Ah I know, you girls can get me Forever21 vouchers or something hehe so that I can shop! SO practical hehe

2. Makeup stuff? But I think I rather buy on my own cos I know how hard is it to choose after buying Yaya's bday presents! HAHA

3. ...................................................

Aiyah! haha I really can't think of things that I want leh.. I'm still using the wallet you girlies gave (OMG it's gonna be one year old already hehe), don't need another one...... Nothing that I want really really much right now..........

Unless you girls wanna get me a navel piercing or a tattoo or pay for my pole lessons. HAHAHAHA Or how about a ticket to Taiwan? Or maybe bring Damon Salvatore to Singapore hehehehehe

Actually, I just wanna have a good good time this Wed with you girlies! <3<3 I cannot wait!

WEDNESDAY COME QUICKKKKKKKKKK!

Looking back

2010-06-09T05:58:00.003+08:00

Read a couple of posts from my archives.

Realised that I used to be more expressive in this blog and lately, it's just dying off..

Maybe it's because I've become so reclusive I don't even know how to go about putting my thoughts into words.

Or maybe because I've fallen back to the time when there's nothing much going on in my life. Heck I don't have any emotions going on in me for quite awhile lately.

I've gotten over being stupid, for real. And hence, I don't feel anything anymore.

Is that good? I don't know. Maybe.

Ah, random rumblings aside, the Vampire Diaries fanatic in me found @iansomerhalder on twitter (DAMON OMG!) and his bio just made me LOL

"Dead guy on LOST now undead on The Vampire Diaries. Still happily contemplating Man's existential dilemma..."

Hahahaha okay. Hmm I really should stop living like a vampppppppppppirrreeeee. Or maybe I'll turn into one if I live like that longer? (har har.) Shouldn't get my hopes up.

K bye.

My latest obsession

2010-06-08T02:46:00.004+08:00

HOT STUFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF = Damon Salvatore

Vampire Diaries is so awesome lahhhhhh! I can't wait for Season 2!

Anyway the two-week break is hereeeeeeeeeee! And I'm living like a vampire (haha). Up awake at night, asleep in the day. What's new.

Supperclub with my chicks last Sat! hehe had an awesome night!

Ok I realise that's a very random insert of photo. Hmm. Okay, anyway, I'm really hoping that I can get into OSIP though I think the chances are very slim... and even if I do will I even have the money..... ):

But I really wanna get out of Singapore, experience the world for a little bit. Sigh. I hate being poor. ):<

Ah, I'm gonna continue rewatching Vampire Diaries nao. TTFN (tata for now!)

Things to do

2010-06-03T02:21:00.002+08:00

1. Bathe Muffin (horrible stinky overweight fat pig dog.)
2. My work work (if I'm not gonna do it in a while)
3. Study (or read through) Sales Management
4. Head to St. Michael's since it's Aunt Millie's birthday <3
5. Sleep.

I've been feeling endlessly tired lately. Donno what's wrong with me. ): Anyway, I'm dling Vampire Diaries now ^^ haha may be a bit slow lah but I figured it's better than watching Gossip Girls cos I hate how English dramas never seem to end with all the seasons. Haha

Shall give Vampire Diaries a shot (;

Oh, and on a sidenote, I think I screwed up/ am screwing up my Mid-sems badly. Real badly. ):

Yet again

2010-05-30T04:50:00.002+08:00

I'm not as strong as I thought I would be, and I hate my weakness so.

Seems as though all the effort I've put it in the past months vanish within a night. Perhaps it was a mistake to go, but....... I guess it was the heart that made the decision.

Yet again, the mind has lost the battle against the heart. But fight on, fight on I will. I see no end in this.

I've been so lost on this journey I have no idea how I feel anymore.

So...

2010-05-28T01:09:00.002+08:00

I haven't started my studying. WHAT'S NEW RIGHT.

But I'm meeting Mawewe tmr to study! (;

Anywayyyy, I think I'm learning to open up a bit more to others... Cos really, sometimes it's just tiring keeping everthing to yourself.

And I love my groupmates! Hahaha though we got together abruptly, like at random.

Beginning to feel more postive about everything (: Life, sometimes you just have to stop thinking so much (it's such a major flaw in humans, especially girls).

"Everything happens (or don't happen) for a reason". So we just have to suck it up and move on..

Wah I sound like a counsellor hahahahahha!

Ok tomorrow night, one last partayyy before mugging begins. (: I LIKE~

SAYONARA!

Stressed

2010-05-21T00:23:00.004+08:00

Services Marketing:
31 May 2010 (Mon) 09:00 10:00
Brand Management:
01 Jun 2010 (Tue) 09:00 10:00
Strategic Marketing:
02 Jun 2010 (Wed) 09:00 10:00
Sales Management:
04 Jun 2010 (Fri) 09:00 10:00

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS I BARELY UNDERSTAND HALF OF MY SUBJECTS AND THIS IS HAPPENING IN TWO WEEKS' TIME.

AND WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL 9AM PAPERS?!

SIAO LIAO LAH.

I......... cannot tank this. I............ am going to screw all my papers up. I............. am a stressed bitch and I don't know why this sem I am so lost in all my subjects.

Wah fuck this shit lah this is major FML.

I want cry. ): Badly.

Anti-social

2010-05-14T00:04:00.001+08:00

Is it too much to expect someone to keep to his/her words?
Am I silly to be affected by something which I no longer have control over?

It's not anger, it's just disappointment. I thought, I expected. Well I thought wrong, I expected wrong.

I really wish I can not care. But it annoys me in one way or another. It's making things so much more awkward and difficult than it already is.

I'm just pro at putting a "I don't give a fucking shit" facade, as usual.

***

Today I was told I'm anti-social. ): I know I am..

I feel like I've forgotten how to make new friends. Having someone to rely on in the past semesters certainly lowered my social skills drastically.

Besides, I find it so hard to open up to people around me. The years of keeping emotions to myself for the fear of people knowing too much. Well, when people know too much about you they have the ability to tear you apart.

I'm afraid to get close to people whom I don't know well enough.

Cautious. Ah, feels like I'm back to becoming that hermit.

Or have I always been a hermit? ):

Nothing meant

2010-05-10T00:05:00.002+08:00

Ok I've recovered! Fully! I think. Hahaha

Last night was a crazy day working at YTL's event at Botanic Gardens! But I think of the money and yayyyyyyyyy (:

Worked today as usual and collected my pay so yayyyyyyyyyy (: It's all gonna go into my "Saving for a driving license" fund. Haha!

Celebrated mummy's day with my aunt and cousins and sis at Aston's!

I'm damn tired.... I've to get two things done tomorrow, my IJ for school, and my work work. And as usual, I'm procrastinating. Sigh. Tomorrow I will hate myself for not doing anything now but I'm too friggin tired and my brain's not functioning.

School's stressing me out like shiat. WTF is strategic marketing all about.. I am panicking and I got a very strong feeling that this sem, I'm gonna screw everything up very badly. ):

Ahhh. The only positive thing lately is: out of sight, out of mind. I LIKE.

Fear

2010-05-05T15:00:00.002+08:00

I've never been this sick before. Not in my entire close to 20 years of living.

High fever, I can tank.
Go hospital, I can tank.
Draw blood, I can tank.
Put me on drip, I can tank.

I cannot, cannot, tank having to swallow anything. Cos it's so fucking painful I will cry. And what's the worse thing?

The antibiotics that the doctor prescribed for my throat to get better have to be taken after food. WIN ALREADY LOR.

I CAN'T EVEN DRINK WATER HOW TO EAT?! I CAN'T EVEN SWALLOW MY OWN SPIT HOW TO EAT?!

Never mind. So I forced myself to eat, at least a little bit, then took my medicine.

But the little bit was not enough, cos I puked like I've never puked before. And you know how fucking painful it was to puke when you have a freaking inflammed throat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sigh. At that moment I really thought I was about to die.

I'm feeling a tad better now, and I'm really hoping that I'll recover soon.. I'm on a 4 day MC can you imagine the amount of school work I've missed.

I'm damn scared...... I never missed so much school before.

All because of fucking tonsillitis. Go google image that, my throat has that many white patches, imagine that.

FML ):

Curious

2010-04-30T13:49:00.002+08:00

Whenever I log on to Nuffnang to check out the analytics of my blog, I get curious to know who reads my blog!

It ranges from 15 to 20 (sometimes even more) views per day and I can only think of a handful of people whom I know will read my blog.......

Then the rest leh?? Hahahaha

I damn sad cos I have very little blogs to read everyday now.. My girlies barely update their blogs, updates on one another usually takes place in Twitter or FB. And busy bloggers like Xiaxue, Cheesie, Rozz don't update daily.....

So.......... let me know if got nice blogs to read! Hahaha

Ok I know it's a super random post. I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED TUTORIAL TODAY SIGH.

The wonders of my blurness. ):

Bruised not shattered

2010-04-27T12:23:00.002+08:00

Past few days had me hating myself for being so gullible and wondering why I'm like that.

I'm overly-gullible to the extent that I feel very very very dumb. It happened not once, not twice.

I see myself being taken in by sweet nothings.
I see myself believing so much that someone is different.
I see myself thinking that someone is not what others perceive him to be.

I'm always believing that there's good in people, no matter how bad they seem to the world.

In short, I'm just fucking stupid and naive lah.

I must start learning that some guys are plain jerks, and whatever nice-ness that eludes from them are just a ploy to get you.

THERE IS EVIL IN THIS WORLD, DAMN IT. NOT EVERYONE HAS EVEN A BIT OF GOODNESS IN THEM!

Anyhow, I'm glad.. this time, I just have to face my stupidity, and not heal a broken shattered heart like what happened before.

***
SCHOOL'S IN, FO'REAL. No more skipping of lectures and the tutorials have started.

I'M A FREAKING YEAR 3 STUDENT! Very stressed to accept that fact. ); I can foresee the busy-ness and hardcore chionging of projects in the months to come.

Sigh. Need to get this education shit over and done with. Anyway I've decided to apply of OSIP (Overseas Student Internship Programme) just for fun, because I don't think I can get in. I don't even know the criteria and all lah..

Just feel a need to explore the world a little more.

Ok bye, lecture at 11 tomorrow! I must stop being late! Hahahha (;

Superstar Virgo

2010-04-24T00:52:00.012+08:00

Day 1

Our boarding passes! So excited, it was my first time on a cruise!

Our cosy suite.. so comfy, I like!

After putting our bags at our rooms, we went to have dinner!

Which was yums. And you can order as much as you like. Awesome right!

After which, we went for a magic show LOL then the adults went off to the casino so we were left to look for things to do!

We went to explore the hugeee ship.. Damn nice lor!

The view from the glass elevator!

We found the arcade! And played House of the dead which made us scream so loudly I think the people outside thought we were mad. Hahahahaha! So fun lah! Then we headed for supper, buffet style!

After that nothing to do already, so we went back to sleep.

Day 2

Woke up early for breakfast! Then the ship arrived at Port Klang, where we can alight and go shopping!
With Aunt Nancy in the cab on the way to the shopping centre! (:

And the shopping centre was sooooo huge! Bought like damn a lot of stuffs so happy!

My awesome aunts who sponsored our trip to the cruise wearing matching tops! Haha so cute lah both of them.. :D
Then it's back onboard ship! Huge huge ship! Hahaha

The adults went to rest cos they were in the casino till early in the morn! LOL. So we went for a swim and jacuzzi! Heh so funnnnnn!

After that we went for 张宇's performance! I didn't know they had stars onboard every week.. So cool right!
Camwhoring before the performance starts!

Wah he is damn funny and he has an amazing voice lor! I like! Hahaha

After that was dinner, then adults went to the casino (againnnn) and we were left to look for things to do againnnnn. It was arcade for House of the dead again! HAHAHA

Then it was camwhoring onboard! LOL

Then we found this Neptune donno what wet and wild or something place and my cousin forced me to take a touristy photo.. Hahahaha!

Then we went for supper, buffet style again! Hahahah damn fat one on board cos you can keep eating and eating for free!

We didn't want to sleep so early so we mustered our courage and went to the KTV lounge. Managed to sing a few songs hehe.. Don't know why all the people who were there could sing so well lah! Like paiseh only. LOL Then it was back to our comfy beds and sleeeeep!

Day 3

Didn't have much time left on board.. Woke up, went for breakfast then we went to explore the decks while in daytime!

After that was home sweet home!

Quite an awesome getaway I will say. Food food and lotsa food definitely hahaha damn fat! And the shopping at Bukit Bintang was greaaatttt! Would love to go there again!