A beautiful heart

Found this story online and decided to share, to rid my blog of emo posts..


One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley.

A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine."

The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces missing.

The people stared. How can he say his heart is more beautiful? they thought. The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed.

"You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."

"Yes," said the old man, "Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see,every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love - I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared."

"Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges - giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?"

The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands.

The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges.

The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man's heart flowed into his.

They embraced and walked away side by side.


Nice story, yes?


***
I guess things are fine.. Better than yesterday, at least.

Still, my heart feels heavy and I have yet to get rid of the fatigue in me. Emotionally, physically. Why, I do not know.

When night falls I always feel messed up. When night falls my thoughts emotions tend to run wild.

Sigh. I need a good rest, it has been exhausting today.

Where she belongs

All geared up for my last paper tomorrow. No, actually it's in... 7 hours' time. I hope.

Can't wait for 10am! Liberation.


Sigh. I've been a mess lately, still can't figure out what's wrong and what I want. I'm just becoming a hermit, again. I don't wish to socialise with anyone.

When I cry, I want to be alone.

I'm just so fucking weird and fucked up now.

Not a good time to be. I wish tomorrow will be better. I'll try to make it better.

Is trying enough?



I mask my emotions even to the closest people around me. I hate to show the vulnerable side of me. I, Hate it. It doesn't mean I'm not affected by my emotions, I fucking am, that's why I'm vulnerable in the first place.

Maybe I haven't changed all this while, I, still run. When my thoughts and emotions become too hard to handle, I shut them off, and hide. And run.






AH, I'm just ranting, trying to see if any of the above makes sense. None of it does. It just shows how messed up I am.

I'll try.......... I'll try.

Emotional wreck

I swear I'm gonna die of some brain tumour or cancer or shite like that at the rate those hugeass headaches hit me.

Stressed up with mid sem tests next week, untouched project work, work work, emotions.....

Every fucking thing seems to be crashing, and I have a wonderful nagging headache on top of it all. Like a cherry on top.














Life, sucks. But it goes on.

Promise myself to study for A&P plus a bit of PRM by Friday so that I can go out on Sat.



I really feel that I'm breaking apart. Losing my sanity as each day passes. AHHHHHHHHH.

Who knows

Tough to stay in love huh.

So now it's just one step at a time..

I hate that mid-sem tests are coming and the fact that I haven't been to lectures ever since week 2 or something. I've been too slack, and I hate myself for that.

I can foresee the fall in GPA already... ): Talk about getting into Uni, BAH.

I don't know what's wrong with me.. All this laziness and total reluctance for school. Dreading school like f seriously and I haven't been like that since JC.





GAH. Anyway, Twilight sucks. I'm on Team Jacob, though. Edward's too sparkly for me. HAHAHAHA I seriously can't stand the sparkling. It's just way too gay.

Case 39 was so-so. Just caught it just now.. Pretty okay for a movie just to pass time.

Blah, blah blah.


CAN'T WAIT FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

It's getting harder

i feel like i've lost something important......
i've been searching but in vain....


i....... am losing myself.

what was once me.. what I'd been...



it's stifling, suffocating.


what's right, what's wrong
what I want, what I'm looking



i.............. am i happy, now?