Nothing mattered

So I have been reading blogs lately and came across something which reminded me so much of the past.

Girl A, Girl B, Boy C. Boy C two-times A & B. Yep, don't we all know how it goes.

I just can't help but wonder why. Why is it that guys think nothing of two-timing. Why guys do not care about how much hurt they can cause.

I read through, the hurt, the pain, the denial. Hey, haven't I been through that? On a smaller scale that is, cos in this case they are all grown-ups.

Isn't it cruel to know that sometimes girls just trust guys so much, they will believe every single word coming out of their mouth? And no matter who tries to persuade them from not believing, they will just turn a deaf ear to all their advices?

The past may be the past, but sometimes, the scars, they haunt. Like how I still get paranoid, feeling like an abandoned puppy in need of assurance that I woudn't be abandoned again.

And then there's karma. I guess if one day some girl snatches Mr. Sucker away from me, I would have nothing to say cos I deserve it? Karma's a bitch, no? Since I did it to someone before it'll probably happen to me in future?

I don't know why I'm feeling how I feel now. Things are fine, in fact great, with Mr. Sucker despite our little quarrels here and there.

Sometimes I just............... think too much I guess.

And I feel like I'm drifting further and further away from my girlies than ever before. I feel so insecure about it I feel like I may lose them. Am I going to go back to being that hermit I was, hiding in my own hole burying myself..

I miss you all, jasthm.......