Given Up

I really do not want to fucking care anymore.

Sorry for the frequent use of profanities lately..... My life totally sucks now, it's making me totally jaded and I really can't deal with every shit that's happening.

I am this close to breaking apart, falling back into being that rebel I was in Secondary school, that...... hermit.

Everyday I try to think of things that make me sane... Trying hard to keep it all together.

Everyday in school I feel like I'm wearing this mask, yes yes I'm fine totally I don't give a shit, yes yes I'm fine projects totally make my day yay. Beneath this facade I put on in school...... you don't know how fucking much I just want to give up on everything.

I've been clubbing very often, thanks to Eugene. Realised I don't quite like clubbing as an activity, I just like being around the boys, like Eugene and my "dance instructor" Joshua and some random other guys that always end up being there somehow.

They never fail to cheer me up, taking my mind off my miserable life in school....

I miss my girls too.. We're meeting this Saturday yay. (:

Sigh. Everyday in school....... is just a torture.

Please please please let these few torturous weeks pass asap before.. before I lose myself.. ):