Aphyxiated

I miss my childhood. I miss how things used to be so easy....

It was so easy to let someone know you like them, and even if they don't feel the same you guys can still become good friends. Everyone was so easily contented.

I miss the innocence of puppy love. When the mere touching of hands caused both parties to blush and run away. I miss how it seemed to be so easy to talk to someone you like on the phone for hours and hours, even when you guys are just friends.

It's tough growing up. So damn tough.

I wish I have the courage I had when I was younger, when confessing to your crush was as simple as abc, when facing rejection was just "oh ok, let's remain as good friends then!", and really remaining as good friends.

And I don't know why I'm still having this random bouts of emoness and sudden pangs of missing. What will it take for me to forget everything? To forget the emotions felt back then, to forget the conversations, forget.......... everything.

Or, what will it take for me to face up to how I feel? To stop being such a coward and hiding every fucking feeling I have and convincing myself that it's all a mistake. It's just so silly to feel like that over something I have no control over.

Not a good time to feel like that. Gonna drown myself in projects when I wake up tomorrow so that you can be out of my mind. Goodness knows how much my mind and heart needs a break. It's getting way out of hand, all this silly thoughts.

Another wordy post. I'm such a wordy blogger.