Just a bit till I fall over the edge

I am this close to leaving school, just quitting, and probably work till the next intake for Poly comes.

I even went to check out the courses, well, to see if there're any others which I don't mind going (sadly, mass comm's still my fave):) and I think the new psychology course in TP is cool. Like anyway my aim's to get in Arts and Social Sciences in NUS so psychology is like the only course apart from mass comm that's related? Whoa, I totally can't imagine myself taking up Psychology, seems so far-fetched. But perhaps I will afterall. Cos JC life is simply fucked.

My sis is so gonna kill me, if I were to quit right now. Persevere to the end? I AM REALLY DYING. Every single day feels like a waste of time. Wandering to school and thinking about the future, like how I can never promote looking at my results now. And it's not like I definitely can, even if I put in my best effort, cos time is really running out and Promos are approaching and before we know it'd be here. It's not that I mind retaining, I don't, seriously. But the thing is that retaining doesn't guarantee my promotion either. Though it raises the possibility by quite a lot. I just don't think I can take another two years of this shit. Cos I really hate school. I really hate going to school. I really hate it.

I don't know, I really wanna leave. But I'm afraid I'll regret it like my sister did. Or should I just not compare the both of us? Cos we're really different. Like she's so into studying while I'm so NOT. Ahh. Do I really have to tolerate a few more months before deciding or should I just make up my mind once and for all so that I won't be as miserable as I am now?

YJ's not a bad school, the teachers there are nice (or at least most of them are), it's just that their system sucks like hell. And my peers, my classmates, my friends, they're all great people. It's just that I'm still not accustiomed to JC life after so long, and instead of getting used to it I'm hating it more as each day passes. It's so not me.

Some people may think that I should just get this over and done with. But do you know how getting it over and done with kills?? Especially if it's over a period of 2 to 3 years??? It sucks. So freaking much. Having to put up with each day and waiting for the day of graduation to come every moment. What's the point if I'm so unhappy? I don't know. All I know is that I'm really sick and tired of this life that I'm having, and it's not good at all.

Sorry for this really lengthy post. I am really, as you can see, exasperated with school and I don't know how long more I can tolerate with this.

Hello

Hi earthlings, I'm back again. But my freaking com is still not okay. I'm at Val's house now! (:

I'm so sick of my mundane school life.

Wake up
rush to bus stop
pray that 857 hasn't passed
reach school
climb four flights of stairs to reach CT venue
go for lessons
try my best to stay awake during lectures/tutorials
count down till the end of each lesson
go for break
eat
feel fat
return to lessons
try my best to stay awake during lectures/tutorials
count down till the end of each lesson
school ends
head to bus stop
pray that 857 hasn't passed
reach home
eat dinner
feel fat
try to do my homework
sleep
wake up...............

You get the idea. All these while dreaming of the day when I can get outta this shit to Taiwan. Haha..

Oh I got my FeiLunHai autographed pictorial book already! :D But the mere mention of the cost ache my heart okay. Nehmind! LOL. I watched the DVD that came along with it.

I. Want. To. Stop. Studying. And. Go. To. Taiwan. NOW!

Summary of this post?

GET ME OUTTA HERE FAST AND BRING ME TO TAIWAN!!!


P/S: I lost my EOM notes and I have no idea how to continue. YAY.

JI BA BOMMMMMMM

My com crash. So. Yup haven't been online for a looooooong time. Hectic school life, sucks like hell. I think each week pass so fast, though lessons pass by so slowly.....................

Nothing much to update, more next time when my com is back. No mood to blog here. Ahaha.

Bye people (:

My WONDERFUL Achievement

Wah, I am so proud lor. Super proud. Proud beyond words. I can't believe my intelligence.

Screw school.

_l_

Just ranting #3 (Ｉ rant a lot hor.. LOL)

Econs tutorials have been so fun cos the teacher is so nice.

"...for talents so the talents will be able to showcase their talents..."

HUH? Hahahaha.. Damn funny lah. Our dear Jia Hon. LOL.

Econs lecture suck cos the lecturer is mad.

"Return your attendance sheet. Or SHIT."

LAME. Stupid woman. She's so obnoxious, reminds me of Dolores Umbridge in Harry Potter!

Oh Yes, HARRY POTTER!!!!! I'm more excited about the book though. Heeeeheeeeheeeeee :D

My mummy's so funny. I've been whining to her since Sunday about not wanting to go school. Then just now I was like (in a whiny tone) "Mummyyyyyy......."

Then she say, "You don't want to go school."

Hahaha.. She completed my sentence. LOL. I have a cool mum.

I'm going KBox tomorrow night! YAY. With my sissy! :D

Okay, I'm like rambling on and on and on and on.........


School sucks, still.


(FEILUNHAI ROCKS FEILUNHAI ROCKS FEILUNHAI ROCKS)

I wanna buy bagpack.


Okay byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered

但我的心每分每刻仍然被她占有
她似这月儿仍然是不开口
提琴独奏独奏着明月半倚深秋
我的牵挂我的渴望 直至以后

缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前
爱你穿越时间
两行来自秋末的眼泪
让爱渗透了地面
我要的只是你在我身边

只怪我的爱不够勇敢
一直沉默的作你的依赖
让一切石沉大海
Baby now I need you by my side
过去的一切该怎么放开
Without you I can't fall in love again

带我远走高飞
一起去追
有一个叫作幸福的世界没有泪水
我已经感觉到疲累
只想在你怀抱入睡
不在乎别人眼中是非

我为你找了一百个理由
我就是那么傻
你爱我还是他
是否沉默代替你的回答
我应该明白吧

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

我只想要
和你在一起
朝着幸福走去
像恋人般的简单甜蜜
我只想要
和你不分离
怎么轻易放弃
说你忘记

Waiting for you
I'm waiting for you
Waiting fr you kiss me at the night
为何你Cinderella
留给我一望无际的思念

在你离开之后的天空
我像风筝寻一个梦
雨后的天空 是否有放晴后的面容
我静静的望着天空
试着寻找失落的感动
只能用笑容 期待着雨过天晴的彩虹

转身离开 分手说不出来
海鸟跟鱼相爱
只是一场意外
我们的爱
差异一直存在

I hate school for the 390578245701938490590th time

I really really really really really really really really do not want to go school.
I really really really really really really really really dread school tomorrow.

I HATE SCHOOL.

SCHOOL SUCKS SCHOOL SUCKS SCHOOL SUCKS SCHOOL SUCKS

Put the shit behind

Okay, sorry for the emo-ness and the vulgarities in my previous post. If you've been reading my blog since like 2 years back, I'm sure you've noticed the cut in my using of vulgairities (I hope) and well, I will only do so now if I'm like uber pissed or upset. So pardon me! I was really upset yesterday.

Took 857 with Val this morning! I miss the daily bus rides we used to have together back in the secondary schooldays! ): We talked all the way to Yishun lah. Hahaha.. I was so reluctant to get off the bus cos that means a new day in shithole.

I hate the way the school runs, I hate the way the school always makes us pay for unnecessary courses whisch are totally unbeneficial, I hate school!

Ironically, the people there makes the mundane school life bearable, especially people of 121! (: GAH. I still hate school. Hahahha.

Okay, I wanna lose weight but I'm actually eating Hokkien noodles from Newton while I'm blogging. Har har.

AHHHHHHHH. School's driving me insane. Is there a way to get out of this shithole?!?!?!?!

>.<


REMEMBER TO WEAR GREEN TOMORROW! SUPPORT LIVEEARTH! :D

Brink of insanity

Tell me why do I feel like shit.







Ooooooooh right. I scored the lowest in class for Chinese-60%. Hooray. Look at me jumping for joy. Seriously this studies thing is crushing me down like fuck. U for Math, yeah I know I deserved that. U for Chem, well, yes, I didn't put in enough effort, so be it. S for Lit, okay stupid poem about a swan raping a girl.

C for Chinese?!?! WAH THANKS LOR. This is like the major blow okay. I've been speaking Chinese like 24/7 ever since I stepped into YJ, not that I'm complaining. I AM a cheena pong and I've been speaking Chinese so much more than before. And what do I get? C. Fine. Am I like supposed to speak English 24/7 like before to get at least a B?!

I''d be lying if I say that I'm totally cool with my grades. I. Am. So. Fucking. NOT. I was on the verge of breaking down, but I knew I must not. At least not in school. I'm just so fucking upset about Chinese okay. And I don't even know what's wrong with my compo.

And only 20% of the cohort passed Econs? WAH GREAT MORALE BOOSTER. I should just fail GP as well and fucking quit school lah.



Usually school grades don't put me down so much. Usually I don't give a shit about it. Usually I'll just try my best subsequently. Now it seems like trying my best won't help much either.

I used to be able to handle all this. But this time it seems like it's too much.

Too fucking much.



maybe this is really the wrong choice

Just ranting #2

Mummy brought me shopping yesterday! Bought my skinny jeans and an off-shoulder top! Wahahaha.. Love her lots! :D

I've been thinking a lot lately. You know how sometimes, you thought everything'd be over, but it actually isn't? Like how it seems like a century has passed and you're still thinking about it? I hate that feeling.

Sometimes I feel so contented with what I have now, other times I hate it. SIGH.

I've got a S for my Chem. Sucks.

I'm missing Fei Lun Hai loads! I wanna go to Taiwan now. It'll make me a whole lot happier.



Pfft.