POM.

I FUCKING FORGOT TO DO POM ONLINE QUIZ

DAMN FUCKING MAD AT MYSELF NOW.

FUCK.

And now I'm lost

Ok I am not dead but I will be soon cos work tomorrow at 10.30am and work on Sunday as well. Feel quite zzzzzz about it but I just have to motivate myself by thinking about the mooooolah I will receive at the end of the month.

Yes, I forgot to mention that I saw Vallie Val Val at Kallang bus stop and I only realised she was there when she stood right in front of me. Hahahha so coincidental! I love you babeeeeee :D

Was really deep in thoughts yesterday. Today, too. Perhaps tomorrow as well.

I can't figure out what I want, what I'm supposed to do.
I can't settle my own emotions, can't face my own fears.
I can't get the fear away, though it has been so long.

I don't know what I want.

Perhaps some things are better left undone,
some words are better left unsaid.

But will it be another mistake?

Is it even possible to have such a mix of emotions. I'm starting to think I ain't human anymore........

Here I go so dishonestly

Freaking headache paid me a visit again.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):

121 (or 220)'s class chalet today was..... pretty much just a meeting up session for me.. Glad to see the rest are doing well, but the awkwardness was still there haha too long never talk to the rest already, plus my headache made everything worse.

Xesman passed me the bottle he so painstakingly brought back from Hongkong. funny story behind it. But ok lah, very gan dong ok (:

Cherlyn best friend bought me PLAY magazine with Ya Lun on the cover plus a tin of cookies from Disneyland!! :D

Pics up tomorrow if I'm still alive after work.

Yes, I got a job, and it's ok but tiring. Hopefully the headache goes away by then.

im losing myself

the fear resides.

What goes around comes around

It seems like going back to secondary school once again, acting like (I hate to use this word) childish teenagers.

All along, I keep my opinions to myself, avoiding people whom I think I may have conflict with. Just so as not to make things tensed. I try hard not to judge people cos I know that I do not know them well. But today, wow, today.

So freaking made me mad.

You know, agreeing to do something then not keeping your promise is such a slick act. Soooooo slick. Am really impressed. We actually called to ask what the topic was just so that we wouldn't be doing the same thing.

But, pardon me, if my memory doesn't fail me, what you said you were doing and what you did seem like a totally different thing. So you think just by collecting other random and rather useless infomation you did us a favour by "changing" your topic?

Now it seems so coincidental that our data mysteriously ended up in your hands. A little too coincidental, don't you think?

I am really uber disgusted at this whole issue. Abso-fucking-lutely disgusted and appalled. Cheers for such a despicable act.

Thank goodness for a nice tutor. Otherwise............




***
My sister and her boyfriend keep "matchmaking" me with this guy and I am getting so annoyed by it.

I cannot handle such weird and awkward situations, I will only end up ignoring the person.

They think very funny lorrrrrrrrrr. Zzzzzz. Irritatingzxs.

Somebody tell them to stop it lahhhh. T.T

YA LUN <3

IT'S YA LUN'S BIRTHDAY ON THE 20TH SO I'M JUST GOING TO CHANGE THE TIME! HAHAHA

MY <3<3 HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

28 MORE DAYS TO FEILUNHAI XIANG RU FEI FEI YAN CHANG HUI! :D

***
........................... Today was the first time when, after watching a horror/thriller movie, I was still shaking damn badly.

All thanks to REC. (The French version of Quaratine, which is coming out soon)

I SWEAR IT'S FUCKING GAN CHEONG AND SCARY MY HEART WAS BEATING LIKE CRAZY. IT'S LIKE PLAYING A GAME I TELL YOU.

Thanks to Eugene lah, I knew it. Everytime movie with him means horror, and he knows that I will cover my eyes and read subtitles only but he still always want to watch horror. LOL But nehmind, cos it's his birthday now (past 12midnight) and he's finally 18! :D Anyway he treat la so is he waste money not me muahahahaha

The show really damn scary please. But it's not the ghost scary cos it's zombie. Just damn thrilling omggggggg. We played pool and I think I become damn pro can hahahahah we played 4 games and I draw with him lah!!! Hahahahha so pro omg. Eeeyer so BHB. LOL Sucker Sean, I'm gonna own you one day wahahahha

He said something that made me feel so zzzzzzzzzzz.

"Everytime I see you I think of ___ leh. I donno why leh, you got the ___ face." and then..... "You should learn to forgive and forget!"

...............................

It isn't so much of forgiving, I'm just trying really hard to forget.

It's great catching up with him lah... I think we only meet like what, once or twice in a year??? Zomg. Hahahaha brings back the secondary school days memories.

***
OK I FEEL VERY GUILTY THAT I SKIPPED JAP TODAY BUT NEHMIND. I AM NOW VERY TIRED BUT I SCARED I CAN'T SLEEP COS LATER GOT ZOMBIE CHASE ME IN MY DREAMS HOW!!!

AKU TAKOT!!!!!! TAK BOLEH ANGKAT AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Hahahha ok merepek!

Ja mata!

Drenched

That irrational (without the faculty of reason; deprived of reason.)

fear (the feeling or condition of being afraid.)

When will it be gone?
***

Drenched while looking at the guys play bball in the rain, dried, then drenched again while (attempting to) play street soccer.

It was as though we were trying to test how stong our immune system is.. Hahahaha Plus sitting drenched in a air-conditioned bus is no feat okay...... But I think I'm strong enough wahahahaha

I was trying to think why soccer today seemed so different when playing in Secondary school. Then it hit me, COS DURING PE WE GIRLS PLAY WITH GIRLS GUYS PLAY WITH GUYS LAH. -.- Felt damn bimbotic I swear. Zzzzz

Plus, I got hit in my............ Chest. Grrrrreat. LOL. Flat enough already, now even flatter )': But it was quite hilarious. Hahahaha

***
MET UP WITH BESTFRIEND CHERLYN AND ROYSTON AND YISIANG YESTERDAY AT NORTHPOINTTTT! :D It was GREAT meeting up with them okay!

And Cherlyn passed her driving already :O! So zai can hahahaha All of them are flying to Hongkong for holiday tomorrow. I'm damn sad I can't go but never mind I'm sure they will enjoy themselves! :DDD

***
Feels like projects are piling up and I really have no mood to do any of them nor my tutorials. My laziness will get ahead of me, I know.

I am in love with this songggggggg

五月天-你不是真正的快樂

人群中哭着
你只想变成透明的颜色
你再也不会
梦或痛或心动了
你已经决定了
你已经决定了

你静静忍着
紧紧把昨天在拳心握着
而回忆越是甜
就是越伤人了
越是在手心留下
密密麻麻深深浅浅的刀割

你不是真正的快乐
你的笑只是
你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了
也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂
关在永远锁上的躯壳

这世界笑了
於是你合群的一起笑了
当生存是规则
不是你的选择
於是你含着眼泪
飘飘荡荡跌跌撞撞的走着

你不是真正的快乐
你的笑只是
你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了
也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂
关在永远锁上的躯壳

你不是真正的快乐
你的伤从不肯
完全的愈合
我站在你左侧
却像隔着银河
难道就真的抱着遗憾
一直到老了
然后才后悔着

你不是真正的快乐
你的笑只是
你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了
也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂
关在永远锁上的躯壳

你不是真正的快乐
你的伤从不肯
完全的愈合
我站在你左侧
却像隔着银河
难道就真的抱着遗憾
一直到老了

你值得真正的快乐
你应该脱下
你穿的保护色
为什麽失去了
还要被惩罚呢
能不能就让悲伤
全部结束在此刻
重新开始活着

FART KING YOUR JIE ER INSIDE hahahahahahhaha

I'm in love

I love Fahrenheit.

I love Ya Lun.

I love Jiro.

I love Calvin.

I love Wu Zun.

Abso-bleeding-lutely crazy and smitten over them okay! I shook hands with them................... *faints*
It would be better if my mind didn't blank out on the stage and if I remembered to say Happy Birthday to both Ya Lun and Calvin instead of standing there grinning like an idiot.

Still............................................. I can't express how gorgeous they were, how friendly they were, how cute they were, how attractive they were...... They still look as dashing as the last time I met them in Jan 07. Omgggggg.

The crowd was scary. Damn scary. My cousin and I reached at 11.30am, and there were already perhaps 200 people in front of us. The thing started at 5pm okay. Madness! It was the first time doing such things just for my idols okay... Hahaha crazy, and my ass was damn pain cos sat on the floor for 5 and a half bloody hours.

BUT IT WAS WORTH IT. Omgggg <33333333333

**I think I'm behaving really crazily. All because of Fei Lun Hai! Omggggg.

But I still think I'm much saner than most of the fans there. :D Hahahha

Cousin and I <3

K I haven't done microecons and I feel like sleeping already. I am slacking too much! :O

Sayonara!

Like so many times, so many times before

Sometimes I think my sister is really awesome. I just wish she can have a better boyfriend. Much better, in fact.

I think Wang Zi can't sing leh......... Channel V playing his MV now. Hahahaha quite nice the song but I don't like his voice!

***
Lately I've been spacing out every now and then, just thinking about everything that's going on right now or happened in the past.

I feel like I haven't been myself in the longest time.

I do things that I wouldn't do in the past.
I don't do things that I would do in the past.

Feels pretty weird like everything's so not me. But what's me?

I feel like no one knows who I am, probably cos everyone around me are people whom I've just met.
Even friends whom I've known for a year plus, do not know.

I guess I brought this upon myself cos I am such a expert in living under my facade.
Too good at it I think I'm becomng emotionless.
Not hanging out with people close to me lately made me close up within my own space even more.
Like a hermit.

Or have I been cooped up in this space ever since then?
I guess it totally made me a different person.

I used to be really rash at times and look at me now.
I hesitate and ponder over countless outcomes, not even daring to make any decisions.

What's with such extremes.

Aah, it must be the weather cos I'm feeling fucked up now.

***
Looks like another one of my pointless post.

I try hard not to think about it but it seems like the harder I try the more it gets to me. _l_

“恨总比爱容易放下”

Really? But neither way works.

Nothing works.

himynameisadrielchua

Ok title above is by the step matrep/ ultimate lu chi/ FART KING/ adriel chua kang yang.

LAME LA YOU.


Every Thursday we have to keep ourselves occupied from 4pm to 6pm to wait for the rest. Cos our Jap tutorial ends at 4pm and the rest CDS starts at 4. -.- Boring can, there's so little to do lahhhhhh so now we're at the lab.

Feels kinda weird blogging outside home but since I've nothing to do...............

Met up with Ya Ya yesterday!!! I haven't seen her in school since Sem 1 okay.. Cos she's now studying at the Sentosa campus. It really has been such a long time since we girlies met up and went out! That's like so secondary school and I really miss those times. ):

Somehow I think I'm gonna be the only single one in jas'thm soooooon. Thanks ah, Yaya. Hahahaha wahlao sucks can. But nehmind. Yaya, faster get past the ai mei jie duan ok! Hahahha :D

I've always expected that we'll somehow drift away when we graduate. Studies, boyfriends, and stuffs. Sure will drift apart what. If each of us were an element, J A S T H and M right now for me there's like a triple bond, two double bonds, one covalent bond and one ionic bond between me (T) and the rest.

OK WHATEVER. I'm just talking crap. Did I mention that I actually kinda miss Chem??? Ok no, I think I'm mad. But if you actually get what I'm talking about, triple bond is confirm between T and S :D K whatever. I'm really boredddddddddd.

NEHMIND. IAN, SHARE VAL WITH ME OKAYYYYY. She's like mine, too. Hahahaha

Aiyah damn nonsense this post.

NEXT WEEK NEXT WEEK NEXT WEEK GONNA MEET UP WITH BESTFRIEND CHERLYNNNNNN AND ROYSTON AND THE REST OF THE 121 PEOPLE OMG <33333

Yayness. :D

Counting down

This week is love, cos...

3 more days to the end of Vallie Vallie's stupid A's
5 more days to FEILUNHAI'S autograph session @ IMM (again!)
6 more days to the end of bestfriend Cherlynnnn's stupid A's!

I can't describe how much I miss the both of them AND of cos Fei Lun Hai!!!!!!

I think I'm going on Sun. I think lah, but thinking of the horrendously long queue plus ultra crazy fans scare me leh! If you think I'm crazy over them you should see how the people behave there okay. SCARY.

Anyway today (before 12am, that is) is Calvin's birthday! Happy birthday! As in Chen Yi Ru okay not some kinda friend. I wish he was though OK SHUT UP sorry just pretty much talking nonsense.

I WANT TO GO TAIWAN LAH.

Though school has been pretty fun lately with all the nonsensical nonsense "There's this smell" Hahahahahahaha

Eh eh I just re-read Da Vinci Code again and am once again totally amazed by it. It happens everytime I read it ok. Dan Brown is awesome. Awesome because, he can string lies with facts to come up with such an amazing story that makes readers ponder over what really is true.

Nice.

OK I'M GOING TO DO ELASTICITY NOWWWWWW.


PS. EH my blog got Trojan ah?? ah ???????? Just now my virus scanner say have leh! And it was after I went to XiaXue's blog and detected one. )))))))))): HOW AH.

Quite funny

Was chatting with Adriel Yeo just now then...

(8:28 PM) a for adriel:
hey
(8:28 PM) a for adriel:
your blog....
(8:28 PM) a for adriel:
close?
(8:28 PM) a for adriel:
no more?
(8:29 PM) dine:
haha no la i change link
(8:29 PM) dine:
like damn long ago LOL
(8:29 PM) dine:
dine-withme
(8:29 PM) a for adriel:
give me
(8:29 PM) a for adriel:
WALAO
(8:29 PM) a for adriel:
scare me
(8:29 PM) dine:
why
(8:29 PM) a for adriel:
i go your blog
(8:29 PM) a for adriel:
see my name
(8:29 PM) dine:
OH
(8:29 PM) dine:
HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

LOL. I used to find the name Adriel quite unique until I met the always-step-matrep/pain rain-whose-sense-of-direction-totally-sucks FART KING.


Anyway, VOTE FOR RON! COS I WANT TO SEE HIM ON TV! LOL.

http://ugc.mediacorptv.sg/heygorgeousDetail.aspx?campaign=heygorgeous&Item_ID=UGC-3765&Album_ID=795

Vote ah vote! He's in top 3 now leh! So proud of him. VOTE!!! MY JUNIOR LEH wahahahaha

***
I feel damn gemok now. I want to buy many many things. ):
I text my supposed employer but he never reply me. ): ):

I SAD LAH.

10 goes to Kallang

ADRIEL CHUA KANG YANG!

YOU ARE...... THE WORLD'S BIGGEST LU CHI CAN!!!!!!!!

MADE ME GO ALL THE WAY TO SUNTEC AND MISS THE FIRST 20 MINS OF MY ZHUAN JIAO YU DAO AI!!!

THANKS AH!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU DIE! BESOK KAU WILL BE LEFT ALONE! :B AKU TAK NAK ACCOMPANY KAU AFTER TUTORIAL AH.

Hahahahahahahhahahahaha

You seriously are an idiot. LOL.

*Does spastic face with sound effect*

I also want!

Wahlao eh.

I just watched Mo Fan Bang Bang Tang as usual, then the other time Wang Zi was advertising for a girl to act in his MV. Then today was the sort of finals. Got this girl from Singapore went and got in leh!!! She's really sweet lah, very cute...........

But wahlao eh.................

IF IT'S FEILUNHAI I ALSO WANT!

Kaoz, must be damn rich lor, can just like that go!!! Damn jealous. :B

COUNTING DOWN 12 DAYS TO FEILUNHAI'S AUTOGRAPH SESSION AND 1 MONTH 15 DAYS TO FEILUNHAI XIANG RU FEI FEI YAN CHANG HUI!!!!!!!!!!!

14 DAYS TO THE END OF A'S (I THINK)!
VALLIE VAL VAL AND CHERLYNNNNNNNN!

***
Today I feel damn bad. Really damn bad. Sorry? ):

***
I'm kinda panicking about work again cos the boss suppose to call me to tell me about the details when to start work and all but he hasn't.

Being my overly paranoid self I'm starting to wonder if he will call at all. Maybe he doesn't want me to work anymore? :OOOOOOOO

No please, I seriously need the cash. The income.

***
WAHLAO EH. I ALSO WANT TO GO TAIWAN LEH............. TAIWAN LEHHHHHHHHHHHH.

YALUN YALUN YALUN YALUN YALUN
FEILUNHAI FEILUNHAI FEILUNHAI FEILUNHAI.

Eh, my Hana Yori Dango 2 ended already! Today last episode! I think the ending is so much nicer than the Taiwan version though I always feel that Shan Cai (Makino Tsukushi) should end up with Lei (Hanazawa Rei)! But nice nice! :D


PS. My sister got a PSP! But I think it's an import set with instructions all in Japanese and no memory card. How ah. I so sad. I thought get already can charge then can play. Apparently not. Hahaha Patience!

Moody doody do

Suddenly miss..............

The times we spent in KCP, cai fan, curry mian.... this was taken on the day of the release of O's results.. I miss my girlies much. ):

KCB..... taken during band camp, a day that I'll probably never forget... due to some other reasons.

The feeling of playing in a band. A band that I love, KCB. I'll never forget how it feels like to strive towards a common goal in music with everyone else. And all the effort we put in. This was during the esplanade rehearsal...

Grad night, with my girlies and classmates.. Memorable day.. the day we officially graduated from KCP.

CVD 07, with P17 (not CTG121 yet!).. Derrick and Chern Hui, my first two friends, and Haoyuuuu! Omg I miss that kaopei of his. Hahaha

Guys and girls from 121. I miss those times we had.... though the acadamic life was really difficult to handle, these people made it so much more bearable. I realised best friend Cherlyn not here leh, why ah?

Class outing to KBox during the day of our Supp paper results. The day I almost cried cos I had to retain (in other words, go to Poly and leave these wonderful people.)

........... I'm feeling really moody, wonder if it's due to today's date.. K whatever. I haven't had my dinner and I'm having a headache.

Sucks much.

If you could, would you?

If you knew that everything would turn out the way it was
and given a chance to go back in time
would you do the same?

If you knew it was gonna mess your whole freaking life
If you knew everything was nothing but a huge lie
would you?

Would you make sure you kept your distance
Would you make sure you never crossed the line

I always wondered how things will be like if everything never happened.
Perhaps, I wouldn't be so afraid
I wouldn't be so sceptical
I wouldn't end up being so numbed.
Perhaps I would have the courage to accept whatever comes along

That's what relationships do ain't it.
They screw friendships up. They screw everything up.

Really, everything.
Got to a point where I believe that nothing good comes out of it.

Hasn't it been enough time. More than enough. Much more.

I really have no idea when I'll be able to walk out of this.
I have given up trying.

此刻我只想找一个出口

逃离这混乱荒谬

爱不爱改天再说