Make it go away

I've been so full of emo shite recently I can't stand myself.

It takes so little to mess me up, that small part of me.





Gonna go on a date with baby tomorrow. That'll cheer me up. (:

Jaded

Work has been leaving me very drained, and lately I feel very 2006-ish.

My mind filled with doubts, with issues which I'd once battle with. Once again thinking and thinking and coming up with no solutions.

I feel like a hermit, and am behaving like one. If not for school I'll be cooped up at home, thinking, wondering. Just not socialising. I'm an epic of antisocial right now.

Met up with my girls last Friday. <3

I realised that, I do, have very little friends. But I'm so contented with them. My girls, Cherlyn.. and the occasional close guy friends like Eugene. What's the point of having soooo many friends but most of whom are fair-weathered friends?
So glad for them.

H2HT with Vallie just now.

I can't figure out my problem, and I know it's on my part. I wish I can feel more certain about everything, but sadly all I do is doubt. It's difficult, and I know it probably is gonna be more difficult. Which saddens me. I wish I could be in control of everything...

Tough, girls have too much issues to deal with.

On a positive note, we're planning a trip to Batam in Dec. Girls' night out! Makes me smile.


Ok, goodnight world. Hope I'll feel better soon.

Cheesecake

Forgot to take one before I cut a slice. Pig said that the last time I baked it tasted nicer, but my cousin and aunt liked it. Luv baking much. (: Mummy's gonna buy an electric mixer for me!

Well, I survived throught the first week of school. Am feeling the stress already ): I want so much to do well, better than before. But what I want =/= what I get. Sighhhh.

Work is leaving me jaded. I think I put too much pressure on myself, wanting to do my best at everything only to fail. I get upset, I get demoralised.

Don't know what's wrong with me. Perhaps I'm being too much of a perfectionist, expecting too much of myself and others.

I need to learn how to relax, so that I can work better. Do things better.

):

Goodbye holidays

School will start in approximately 14 hours' time. First lesson? Comm skills 2 for 3 freaking hours. Not a good sign.

My timetable is goooooood. :D At least I think it is. I'm quite worried about my CDS cos I don't know anyone from there but ohwell *crosses fingers*

My holidays have gone to such waste..................... all thanks to my lazy fat ass. ): What did I do during the holidays?

Bum, bum bum around and more bumming around. Ok work too.. work work work... The only accomplishing thing that I did was JB trips with baby and his family..

Gosh am I horrible or what.

Next holiday I promise myself, at least a trip to Batam to relax!!!!

Night world.

10th

10th. Tenth. Ju-th. Shi-th. Hahahah whatever I'm so lame omg!

I'm blogging at work now and I can feel a mighty morphine power headache approaching. ):
Again. Again. Again. Again..............................

Ten months today leh. Wahahahahahaha. Time flies! Still, <3 <3 cow.

Timetable's out tomorrow. School starts next week. Have lots to do for work. Am quite stressed up I fell asleep thinking about work. ):

I hope my timetable is nice enough for me to fit in work because I can't not work. I have now prioritise taking my driving license over Taiwan trip just because I think it's more important.

I can't wait to save enough money. Seriously. I don't even buy stuff online anymore! And the things that I buy, are sort of a necessity. Like the denim shorts and shoes I bought today. Wahahahah. OK maybe I'm just convincing myself.

Oh well. Am not exactly looking forward to the start of school, but not exactly dreading it either.

My stomach's growling and I'm craving for yu pian mi fen. After work dinner! Tata!

Pauper

1. I've been working part-part-time as a traffic surveyor. Easy money but for past Wed and Thurs I've been waking up at 5am which is insane.
   
2. On top of that I had work on Wed and Thurs all the way to 10+pm. Exhaustedgal90 much.
   
3. Went to JB on both Mon and yesterday with baby and family. Happy cos I shopped like mad :D
   
4. Went for CTG121 gathering just now. Spell weird. Spell awkward. As usual, I don't think I would have gone if not for Cherlyn. Or Royston and Yisiang. :\
   
5. I want to learn driving and I hate the fact that I'm not rich. That my family cannot afford to let me take drving lessons. Unlike most of my friends or people around my age.

At point number 5, I am feeling superbly angsty about it. I hate being poor.

Gah.

Do you have a name?

I haven't been to town in months.. And today I met Eugene there!

I swear I have a phobia of people and crowds. Not going out recently made my phobia worse.. I'm so uneasy around people.. Around strangers. :\

Dinnered at Ion, then caught Surrogates! Wasn't a bad show but it was a tad too short. One and a half hours only!

Something hilariously embarrassing happened on our way to Shaw after Ion. I swear Eugene's gonna laugh at me everytime he meets me from now on! ):

Anyway we walked from Shaw to Cathay then we saw Teng Kiat and Yu Zhong! Ended up having supper with them (Teng Kiat drove) at Newton then they sent me home..

I always feel a little odd hanging out with my secondary school guy friends.. It's nice, the sense of familiarity but yet sometimes it's a little stifling.. Overwhelming. Often reminding me of the worse days I had back then. Same reason why I hate going to Bishan.

And Eugene always have to remind me lor. That idiot. Was talking about how difficult it is to find guys taller than me and he just have to say "___ lor!"

-.- That idiot. Hahahhaah

Right. Work tomorrow, work on Sunday.. Weeeeeeeeee!

Night owl's dreams

My sleeping hours are really screwed.

Shouldn't be surprised since it is the holidays. Sleeping at 5, 6am and waking up at 3, 4pm seems to be the norm sleeping hours for my holidays. Automatically.

Awesome, because this is how I lose weight. But the sad thing is I'll be putting on the weight once school starts. ):


It's late, and as usual....... I.. think more when it's late and when I'm alone and when I have nothing to do. Have been just thinking about my life and my future (not much emo thoughts here, finally!)..

I must start saving. Saving enough for a Taiwan trip at the end of my year 2? Which means one more semester, 6 more months. Feasible, if I stop wasting money on my materialistic wants. Considering I have an awesome job now (:

I'm just tired of having dreams but not being able to fulfil them. And instead of wishing, I figured it would be more practical to actually work for it.. Work to fulfil them. And hell, if I do manage to save enough money I might just fly to Taiwan myself. :D

And then I'll save some more, or wait till after I get my diploma and work a bit so that I can get myself a driving license..

I hope my grades would be good enough for university so that I can secure a high-paying job in future.. And be able to afford my own Mazda RX8 by.. say, 27?

HAHA. I'm dreaming so big, but I'll work even harder to make them come true.

I'm just trying to live for myself a lil more, live better a lil more.. And stop letting my emotions and insecurities harm me.

After typing all this I'm more than determined to save. And. Stop. Spending. Hell, I'll lock my IB device somewhere and forget about it.

Gambatte to myself!