Perhaps it really is some post-Bali depression because all I'm feeling now is miserable, frustrated, annoyed, to the point that I feel like bursting into tears because I am feeling so ARGH.
I don't like being ignored. I don't know if it's just me, but I really hate it when people do not reply to my text messages for hours, especially if it's someone close to me. It's the one thing that I really cannot stand. But I'm trying my best to curb it.
Sometimes I expect too much. Like the above scenario. I expect people to reply to me the soonest. And that's the thing with expectations. When it doesn't happen, you fall into this deep pile of crap known as disappointment. And it sucks.
I get frustrated when I don't know whether or not I have a plan for the night because I need time to prepare and get ready. Sometimes guys just don't get that. It's even more frustrating when you spend the whole day waiting only to know that nope, you have no plans for the night.
And this is the time when I feel that I, may have too little friends. I don't have many friends. I am never a social butterfly. Hell, I'm probably at the other end of the spectrum. I am seen as an anti-social aloof person, never one to initiate a conversation.
I have a few friends whom I hold dearly to my heart. Those I know are true to me and will never ever abandon me in time of need. Like my girls, Val, Mal, Mel, Yaya.. Guys whom I meet once in a while like Ryuju or Mei Yuan. Hon, who's miles away from me in Aussie. Even Rob, whom I've recently met after almost a year. These people I know I can count on. These people whom I don't meet often yet our friendship is unbreakable.
But I realise I don't have a group of friends whom I hang out with regularly. My life revolves around the boy and the boy alone on a normal basis. Which is pretty damaging. Because I turn into this clingy gf whose plans revolve around the boy. The boy who has friends he hangs out with regularly.
Well, perhaps it's time for me to be more of a social butterfly. Or maybe, I can just drown myself in work like what I plan to do now.
Such a long rant but I feel better already. It's been long since I ranted on this blog, almost forgot how therapeutic it can be.
Happy Good Friday! Not.
1 comment:
I like what you say, it's exactly how I feel really often, like when somebody doesnt reply to my messages... I dont get it why you always have to wait for an answer. That really makes me nervous.
It was funny I found your blog, got back from Bali yesterday and fell into a depression. Thats why I just 'googled' post bali depression and ran into your blog.. ;) Why do you have one?
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